Viva part two

So I'm in the airport waiting for a very delayed flight. I have a client meeting in less than twelve hours. Should be fun.

But back to the race...

I was in a corral with a guy from Denver who told me that he walked the last two half marathons in less than three hours- that made me feel better. Either way the waiting was agony. There was a rush of excitement once our corral began to move and before I knew it, I was running under the start line (a bridge over the boulevard with a blues brothers band on it).



Almost instantly I had to pee. Fml.

One wierd thing about my psyche when I run is that I always have this disturbing feeling like everyone is passing me. This time was no different. It was a couple miles in when I finally had the guts to look back, fearing that I would see no one however I saw tons of people! Like thousands! Perhaps I could do this after all.

Meanwhile, with every portapotty I passed the lines got longer and my need got stronger.

I spent the first part of the race in utter amazement. I was really running this. It was really happening. I was on the strip in Vegas with 30000 other runners and I wasn't bringing up the tail end! There was the MGM then the new aria and cosmopolitan, then the bellagio. Then here was the Venetian, where countless couples were celebrating run through weddings.

Sick thing is that most of those people still beat me!



4.5 miles into the race and I finally gave in to the need to pee. I waited in line with a lady who I had been running near the whole time. I took a picture of her shirt as proof for my stepm-mother that she isn't too old to run one of these with me...



Then we got to the end of the traditional strip and I passed the farthest point in which I had ever ran. I was now boldly going where no Jodi had ever gone before, seeking out a new life, new accomplishments and challenges... In other words, at this point I was in unfamiliar territory- I remembered that I really no idea how long this run would be given that I hadn't ran even close to the same distance... but, one foot after the other and I continued on my way, even giving a cheer Or two to the high school cheerleaders on the sidelines.

One claim to fame of this run is that there are bands at each mile point. I though they would be a welcome distraction from the running, however, once I got into the zone I had to rely on the only thing I knew - my iPhone. Next thing I new it we were turning and making the loop around freemont street HALFWAY!!!!! I wanted to scream with delight at the top of my lungs! Then... My feet reminded me that I had already ran 6.5 Miles and my head reminded that I had another 6.5 miles to go. This next leg of the race would be the most difficult mentally for me. Suddenly I lost my groove- I had long lost the greatgrand mother and was being passed by more than one group of strong-minded runners.



There was one woman ahead of me, and judge me you may, who looked a lot like Shawna. I may have been deluding myself at this poor, but I thought if I just kept focus on her I could keep pace and finish. I am sure hey looked nothing alike but it worked for what I needed.

Back on the strip and passing the stratosphere my body began to ache. I wholly expected my knee to be in agony by this point and was unpleasantly surprised by the strong ache emanating from my ankle, previously broken in a very dumb activity. the ache shot up my entire leg, as the rest of my body compensated the best it could. At this point I walked almost as much as I ran. I had so little left. The water stations were making me angry- their tiny little cups did nothing to quench my thirst so finally I grabbed the jug they were using to fill these sad little cups and filled my water bottle to the brim. I did this once more before the race was finished.



By this time it was late enough in the morning that the usual Vegas tourists began to line the streets gawking with morbid curiosity at those crazy people who came to sin city to showcase their life of virtue.

Halfway up the strip and I hit the two more important milestones in the race. Firstly, i passed the 15km mark. Three quarters of the race were over. My mind frame in the last quarter would shift from agony and desperation to agony, desperation, achievement and pride. I would be finishing this race. Then the realization that I may just finish under three hours, my secret goal for finishing. Secondly, the Mandalay bay sign emerged in the distance, the rainbow to the finish lines pot of old. The end was in sight and no matter the strain, agony and physical cry to give up, my mind took over- god dammit I was going to finish even if I had to run two minutes then walk two. At this point I was not sure what was more painful, that or straight running.



At some Point my desire to win got spiritual, I had lost the Shawna alike and focused my attention on the shirt of the lady ahead of me, which attributed her strength to gods will. That would do for me. I prayed, asking for just a little extra oomph and for some companionship as this was starting to feel like quite the lonely endeavor.

Then I thought of Shawna. she was the inspiration for my run in the first place. It was her running room sweatshirt hanging in the front of the funeral home that gave me the inspiration. I had never took the time to be inspired by her in life, sadly it took her death for me to see her strength and want to emulate it rather than avoid it as as a reminder that she was stronger than me. This run was a year in the making. I had thought of her countless times, on my way home from work and after the gym, wondering if in another life I was still in lethbridge and we were running together.

Then I played her song - Buble's "let me go home". Prior to her death I listened to this song over and over on my way home from Europe, knowing that I was coming home to T.J. to be his forever and forever. Then it became a symbol of her good bye. Then my way of tapping into her strength. My one year of grieving was coming to a close mile by mile, step by step.

The finish line kept getting farther away. The bay was in full sight but where did this fucking thing end??? Turns out that the end was in the parking lot. There were thousands of people watching and cheering. Every step was agony and I couldnt wait to finish. I honestly wondered if I could lift my feet high enough to avoid tripping on the white plastic buttons used in place of white lines on the road.

Then it was done and I was finished. First stop was water, then ice for my head and ankle, then the best banana I had ever tasted. My sense of accomplishment was stronger than anything in my life, and was only slightly tempered by the aching in my legs.



I had just ran a half marathon. Even though my time would later show I ran it in just over three hours, I had exceeded my expectations.

I found T.J. At the K sign, and cried like a baby while he held me.

A pizza and four hour nap later, we would both be sore and walking funny for days.

You know, before I began I hated running. Those of you who played various sports with me would remember that I was always the last one, gasping desperately for air. I ran to remember, to forget, to challenge myself and to prove to myself once again that there are no limits to what I can achieve, and no hurdles others than those I occasionally and inadvertently impose on myself.

Ultimately, I look back and smile, and hope that one day someone may take up the same challenge that I accepted from an amazing woman in a funeral home.

Ps. for those who wish to join me, I'll be beating my time in Vancouver In May.

Viva Las Vegas 2010!

So what a weekend!

For those of you who don't know, I have been "training" for a half marathon since shortly after Shawna died. She was a runner, and the image of her running room sweatshirt hanging in the funeral home next to her ashes stuck in my head for quite some time. Long distance running was ALWAYS something i was terrible at. What better way to look life/death in the face and say "I'm not afraid of you" than picking something you despite, and learning to love it in the name of a lost friend? When I ran, every time that I thought I could go no further, push myself no harder, I thought of her.

It just so happened to be that the Las Vegas Rock and Run was approximately 1 year from her funeral. So I ran it.


And what a run it was! I must first admit that I haven't trained that well lately. Laziness has gotten the best of me (and it doesn't help that it is cold in Edmonton, and the sun won't shine outside of office hours until next March). Excuses, excuses, I was full of them. I came to Las Vegas scared shitless that I wouldn't finish, let her down and look like a fool.

Then I saw the advertisement for Garth Brooks in the airport.

Now... for those of you who don't know me, I am easily distracted. And I am one with impulse purchases. Now picture me, in the airport, making a mad dash for change so I can use the public phone to call and get tickets to my childhood idol. I mean, c'mon, the guy was on my bucket list! After determining the tickets would cost me a fortune, but that there was a seat available at the 10:30 show (the night before the 6:45 am race...) I bit the bullet and bought a ticket - I mean, I'd make it back to the Luxor from the Wynn at 1 am at the latest, giving me lots of time to sleep...

It was worth every penny. He can sing... and sing... and play one mean guitar. The theatre only sat 1400, and, with it being the national finals rodeo here this weekend, half the audience wore stetsons, and the other half had simply left theirs in their hotel room. It was second only to Elton John. It was nothing but Garth, his guitar and some lighting effects. Oh yeah, and his wife Trisha Yearwood! I mean, holy crap! He went through his life and what music inspired him (starting in the 60s). Tell you the truth, he didn't even play that many of his own songs, probably 10 max - the rest were Merle Haggart, Elton John, America, Randy Travis, the Beatles, and countless others (approximately 75-100 in total, though he didn't play the whole song, just the best parts!)



I laughed, I cried, I stood up to give a thundering applause more than once. He even put up the house lights and did a question and answer at the end (and even took requests!)

Then I took the train back to the Luxor at 2 AM.


For those of you who know a little about Las Vegas, you know its late when your on the Monorail all by yourself.

But again, the three hours of sleep that I got the night before the half marathon was worth every penny!

So, Sunday morning, up at 5:30 AM (see, in Vegas, it takes 20 minutes to walk to the next hotel, and with 30,000 people walking the same direction, it takes 45 minutes, so we had to be up really early, even though the race didn't start until 6:45). I was in corral 27, my bib number was 27384. My D-chip was tied to my laces (to track my time), and I was ready to run... or walk, in a mass of people through Luxor to the Mandalay Bay parking lot. I have never seen that many people.

Now, I had been warned that it could take as long as 45 minutes for my corral to actually start the race. It took us 41 minutes. The gun would go off for each group, and each corral would move up closer to the start line. I was in 27 of 32, so you can imagine how long I had to wait. It was interesting to see what people were wearing - there were many Canucks, you could tell by the light clothing they were wearing. Those from the southern USA were wearing mittens - that made me laugh. Part of the race process was that they would donate any clothing you threw on the street to charity, so many a hoodie was discarded along Las Vegas Boulevard.

For 41 minutes I watched runners pass by - so many Elvis', the occasional Marilyn Monroe, and even Big Bird, and Elmo. There was even a spongebob Elvis. Talk about crazy - here I was, not even sure if I would finish, and people are dressed up in uncomfortable costumes? This oughtta be good. Anyway, i had 41 minutes to contemplate my life, as corral after corral of much faster runners bolted past the start line, onto the Las Vegas strip.

My main thought at this point? Dear God, please don't accept my resignation in the next 13.1 miles (20.9 Kilometres).

An Update I guess

Well, yet another blog post beginning with the phrase... "it's been awhile". In the famous words of a rather devious old-English sister, "I'm a married woman now, I don't have time for such things." Oh Lydia. Remind me to watch that show sometime in the near future. The BBC edition. None of this freakishly-skinny, "you've bewitched me, body and soul" bullshit.

I've fallen in love. Not only with my husband, but with Netflix. You see, carrying on two love affairs at once is exhausting. Add in work and my ability to blog with any frequency wanes.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Netflix. The content is sad, (stupid Canadian version), but I hope it to be better in the near future. The main reason I love netflix? Jeremiah. See, I'm terrible at watching shows. My friend Tanelle used to have a list of her "shows" that she would dedicate a portion of each Thursday evening to. Me? I'd watch whatever happened to be on (which was most likely CBC Newsworld, even when it was on repeat... cause I'm cool like that). Tanelle's dedication to the world of television viewing was something I could only aspire to. Not anymore... thanks to Netflix. Now I can (*gasp*)... and did watch two complete seasons of Jeremiah in a week. Yep folks, I work 50-70 hours per week, and I somehow found the time to watch 35 episodes. I'm a winner.



I also have managed to develop a TV crush. Perhaps this is the third love affair I am carrying on. C'mon, I know all of the 5 people that read this (and the occasional foreigner randomly surfing the web who stumbles across this blog and actually sticks around to read it) have fell in love with a tv character/actor/actress at some point in their life. The whole point of television is to get you to identify, emulate or at least enjoy a fake character played by a real human being for a set time per week. When you watch approximately 30 hours of one show in less than a week the attachment one develops is freakishly strong... well, it's like a romance that just ends too quickly. Just last week you were being introduced and now you're eating ice cream all alone wondering what to do with the emptiness.

Then you have the realization that the human beings that you just gotten to know and love actually played the character almost a decade ago and are long gone.

See, I blame my addictive personality. I have learned recently that I never really complete anything - I like to think my high intelligence causes me to tire quickly of the trivial nuances hobbies and the like have. I do, however, get easily caught into well-written (and sometimes even not well-written *ahem* Days of our Lives) stories. I love a good story. Before I know it, I am in the story, swinging the blade, kissing the hero and feeling the immensity that can only be felt when facing an insurmountable foe. The shitty thing about stories is that they inevitably end.

On that happy note...

Married life is great. Some people have asked me if it feels any different than before. The truth? Yes, though I notice it some days more than others. Like when I sign my name Jodi K instead of Jodi G. Like when I refer to him as my husband. Like when there is laundry all over the floor, I grumble at his laziness... then realize it's mine. Yep, love and marriage.

Off to watch TV.

Hawaii

So, Hawaii is everything that I thought it would be, and more. Actually, going into this vacation I had remarkably few expectations, as I did't have enough time to form any. A quick breakdown of my activities the past 10 days (well, most of my activities) - this is mainly for my guidance, and not for readership:

(and for those of you wondering why I have found the time to blog while on my honeymoon - T.J. likes to sleep in, I don't. Simple as that).

1. Turtle bay resort was amazing! I am blown away though, by how early things shut down on the island each night. I guess I am used to Alberta, where the sun stays up over 5 hours later each day in the summer.
2. We snorkelled and used glass-bottom Kayaks to see sea turtles in the bay near the resort - talk about cool! First one we found was on the beach sleeping and couldn't have cared less that we were there!
3. I ate bacon every morning at the buffet! Totally scared to step on a scale now, but happy that I don't have the stress of trying to fit into my dress.
4. Giovanni's shrimp truck was yummy!
5. Kualoa Ranch - I got to see where part of Jurassic Park was filmed, as well as Lost, Pearl Harbour and many many more.
6. Snorkelling in Shark's Cove was epic!
7. Shave Ice is the best ever, though I wonder at how Matsumoto's got such a good reputation, as I found it mediocre at best. There was a little place by the food land on the East side of the island (I think it was called Angel's) that had the best shave ice.
8. I have never spent so much time napping - I love it!
9. Driving round the island in a blue mustang convertible rocks. Thank goodness that T.J. and I work well as a team when it comes to directions though.
10. Sunday we went shopping at the Aloha stadium - checked out all the vendors surrounding the stadium - I spent a lot of money!
11. Yesterday was the Honolulu Zoo - pictures will be up soon!

(daily itinerary, from the best I can remember)

Sunday September 12 - arrived at the hotel really late after getting our car and driving up the island after getting a little lost.
Monday September 13 - Went for a walk along the beach first thing in the morning. Walked really far, it was so warm, and humid! Then went for a drive down the east side of the island and ended up going around almost the whole thing - the drive was awesome!
Tuesday September 14 - went to Kualoa Ranch and Giovanni's shrimp truck in the morning. The ranch trip was a couple hours, and we saw tons of movie sets and a WWII bunker. After a lovely nap, we went snorkelling in a bay near our resort and saw our first turtle.
Wednesday September 15 - went kayaking in the same bay as before, with glass-bottom kayaks. Also saw the Lost giant Banyan tree. Also went golfing at the George Fazio course, was so fun! I was doing quite well by the end of it (we were the last on the course at the end of the day.) I had ribs for dinner at the clubhouse.
Thursday September 16 - Went snorkelling at Shark's Cove first thing in the morning, long before the crowds could get there. after an afternoon nap we went into Haweli for some shopping, and had Aloha General Store shave ice, as well as New York Style Pizza.
Friday September 17 - Went to the Dole Plantation, took the Pineapple Express train, ate more pineapple than I could ever imagine, went shopping and went through the world's biggest maze with a woman named Lin from Seattle. enjoyed our last night at Turtle bay by drinking our champagne and watching the sun set while walking around the resort. Dinner was a hawaiian buffet with prime rib at the resort.
Saturday September 18 - after our last buffet breakfast, we drove from the resort down the east side of the island towards Waikiki. I slept most of the way. Stopped at McDonald's where there was a very epic mural. It was really weird. Woke up in the middle of Waikiki and T.J.'s need for a map - a little stressful to say the least. After we checked in, we headed to the A La Moana mall (which is massive!) Ate Bubba Gump's Shrimp Co. shrimp, and did some shopping. We then walked down the main street which was closed for a festival - otherwise known as a business promo - found out there were 6 coach stores within 10 blocks of each other. There were stages on each block, and the music was really good.
Sunday September 19 - went shopping at the Aloha Stadium, had another epic nap, and watched the sunset at the Waikiki beach. Then went for dinner at this famous buffalo wings place, and played Buzztime - thanks to the time changes, we were 15th in the US at one point!
Monday September 20 - Spent the morning at the Honolulu Zoo after doing laundry at the hotel (our hotel pool is depressing) - we walked there which took a long time. Took lots of pictures of animals. Walked back to the hotel, then off to the beach for a sunset snorkel. Nightlife in Waikiki not really great (as we are not bar folk and don't really care about hitting a luau all the time, and are generally fooded out), so we went to a movie at the Ward Centre. Saw "the Town" with Ben Affleck - wasn't too bad.

And now here I am, all caught up.

Moments

There are certain moments in time that need memorializing, no, deserve memorializing. Here I sit, at my computer in the first room I ever lived in in my Clareview condo, contemplating how fast my single life on this planet has come to an end.

Of course, it's two in the morning and I can't sleep. Actually, who am I kidding, I don't want to. I don't want tomorrow to come and go as fast as I know that it will. I anticipate the smiles on people's faces, and the joy that I will feel (something that is too rare nowadays, and not just with me.) I will see my parents cry, my relatives attempt to dance, and my friends drink more liquor than they probably should.

I anticipate ahead of time that there will be a moment in all of this chaos, where I will look from the head table around at those who are most important to me on this planet, and feel the sense of calmness and serenity that is wholly inappropriate for the circumstances, but right nonetheless, as it will be a reflection of the pride I have, the pride I have in where I come from, where I've been, and who I am today. That was a long sentence... I wonder if it is grammatically correct... The bonus is that I get to have this moment of accomplishment sitting next to the most handsome man I know. The uber bonus is that if everything turns out right, at that time we will share a common name.

This week has been a whirlwind, from throat infection to birthday and bar call. Many have remarked at how crazy I have made this week for myself. I have thought of this, and find it funny, as this is how I have done things for as long as I can remember. When it comes to events, parties and life changes, go big or go home. It's like a band-aid analogy, only with a positive spin (yes, there can be a positive spin on ripping a band-aid off of a semi-healed wound).

Oh, the girls have gotten quiet - it may really be time for me to go to bed. You see, some of my closest friends (sadly, one missing, but that is how life changes as we age... eek - I'm almost 30) are sleeping in the master bedroom of my condo right now. Yep, all four of us are having a girls night, eating junk (dear G - please let my dress fit) and watching the dumbest movie of all time. At least we were, until it was 2 in the morning, and sleep became more important than calories.

It's funny, there's so much I want to say, yet I'm struggling. Rarely do I struggle with words, even at 2 am (yep, it's been a 20 hour day). I'm trying to capture this moment in a picture made of words, to look at years down the line, when such a big day becomes remembered by a simple romantic dinner at home, (or a blow-out vacation on Turks & Caicos when we grow old... and wealthy). Drawing a picture with words is not an easy task (though one I have to get much better at in order to fulfill the T&C fantasy!)

So... what's going through my head right now (yep folks, the bare, honest and brutal truth):

1. Oh dear, I've pulled in a 20 hour day, which means I will likely have a migraine tomorrow. That will ruin my wedding. How will I push through it?
2. The redbull is in the fridge, right?
3. I hope I don't forget my vows (remember... 11 lines, and count them on your fingers).
4. I wonder how the rum and coke T.J. is drinking out of a coffee pot at the Delta is tasting? Perhaps he will be more hurting than I.
5. What the heck did I ever do to end up with such a handsome, successful, and (gulp) normal man?
6. Forever sure is a hell of a long time.
7. I wonder what our kids will look like?
8. I can always sleep in Hawaii.
...
9. Hopefully that brief pause was a sign of sleepiness... nope. Damn.
10. The quiet at 2 am is remarkably refreshing.
11. I can't wait to see him smile. I hope my vows make him cry. I hope his vows make him cry, but not too much... a manly cry, no gratuitous weeping.

So there you have it, what I think about on the night (ha ha - morning) of our wedding.

During the dress rehearsal there was a full double rainbow in the sky. Was it a sign? The humble part of me doesn't want to admit that I have any significance to anyone with the power to make a rainbow, let alone two of them. The dreamer in me says "I knew you'd come" in response.

My final thoughts drift to those in my life who could not make it. Not those who are across the country, or stuck working, as those are positions that are full of life and consequence. We all have to live, our wedding does not stop the passage of time for the world, just me and T.J. I think of those who would have not missed it for the world, had they still walked it. Perhaps the tendency towards the morbid has roots in my childhood, or those traumatic teenage years. Perhaps it's the joy I get in thinking that they're not really gone, but silent observers at the happiest day of my life, as of yet. It may be a soft warm hug, telling me that there are things that go so much deeper than a dress, flowers, centre-pieces and fireworks, but that for the time being, it is perfectly OK to focus on these diversions as the even the fundamental tapestry of time gets to celebrate and party occasionally.

Time to attempt to sleep. I await some epic dreams.

Smoke and Reflections

There are three weeks until I get married. These three weeks are sure to be some of the most chaotic, stressful and satisfying days of my life.

I have meant to add to my blog lately, however, time has slipped by me too quickly to catch a moment to update all 5 people who read this thing!

It seems as though each day goes by faster than the last! I have been blessed with excellent friends and have enjoyed some wonderful bridal showers. Tonight is my stagette, which I am sure will be a wonderful time filled with booze and girly movies.

Meanwhile, my bar call is steadily inching closer as well. I should get my robes soon! I have been working on what stories I would like heard (and those that I don't want ever repeated) at my call. The more I think about it, the more I realize I have done a ton of dumb stuff in my life. Thanks goes out to sharon who remembered it all.



Oh yeah, I totally forgot to discuss the wonders of the "Tent Cot". Yep, you heard it - it's a cot, and a tent. Bulky as hell, and a pain in the ass to haul around, but epic when its pouring rain and you're concerned about being on the ground. You see, you aren't on the ground, that's the secret! I know, it's the nerd version of camping... kind of like showing up to a Vauxhall reunion in a smart car - everyone knows something just doesn't belong, and violates the laws of the universe, but secretly wonders if it the best invention of mankind is right before them.

The tent cot - I'd give it a 8 out of 10. There's a bar in the middle that sucks, but all in all, I slept like a baby (who'd had a few drinks).



But, off to get ready for drinking. MMMMM.... drinking....

Times they are a changing

So, my blogging has sucked lately. I haven't given up. In fact, I read some of my old pre-law posts and get a good chuckle about what seemed like such a big deal now seems like the smallest insignificant spec. Perhaps one day I will learn the significance of this lesson. One day.

Today I tried on my dress. For those of you who don't know, I bought a dress that was ugly and way too small for me. But alterable. Everything is alterable thank god! The thing is, when you buy a dress that doesn't fit you get a little stressed out about whether or not it will as you get close to the date. I can breathe a sigh of relief that my dress does fit, and looks lovely. Well, I will breathe a sigh of relief once I am out of the dress, because there isn't much breathing while I am in it!

While we are on this topic, I must confess that the thing I noticed beyond the awesomeness that is my dress is that my teeth are a scary shade of... Something. Just another thing to put on my list.

I have a good feeling that the next six weeks will go by far too fast. This summer will fly by and before I know that I will be jet setting off to Hawaii as mrs. Keil.

Scary. Perhaps I should announce to the world that he will be mr. Green. I wonder if I could secretly change his name as a surprise...

But, the most exciting thing on my lap right now is not what you think, but my new iPad. Talk about being a spoiled brat. See kids, you too can go to school for years, rack up a ton of debt, then find a great man who buys you stuff. It's the true Canadian dream... That and getting a coldstone in the times by my house...

Life: an update

A few fantastic updates in the life of Jodi before I hit the gym and enjoy another rainy/snowy weekend in Edmonton:

1. My dress still doesn't fit, but my diet is going better, so there is still hope!
2. Angela and I are doing the little big run on Sunday. It's going to rock! Though my hip is a little out - I will have to go to a clinic to see what I am doing wrong.
3. Got hired back at the firm. Happy that that contest is done and over. I still have the same amount of work, but am less scared of doing it.
4. Wedding planning is going well - one day at a time! There are only approximately 100 days until we get married. Talk about epic.
5. The next few weekends are going to be awesome, with Tanelle's bridal shower and weekend getaway stagette. Talk about awesome!

Further Running Rules

Trained with Angela today. Neither her nor I ever expected that we would have come so far in such a short time. Functionally, we began running a little over two months ago - I had never run before, and Angela had been out of the game for awhile. Quite ahead of schedule we ran approximately 9.5 km this morning.

Hard to believe that just a few short weeks ago the thought of running more than 2:1 was going to kill me. I remember running in Chestermere the last time I was down really wondering how I was going to manage 5:1's at my first class.

We are officially fully into the 10:1's. Though our class is only up to 4.5 k right now, Angela and I decided to be ambitious today, joining the Running Room for their Sunday Run Club and trying out our luck in their 10k group.

Lessons learnt (I am still a hurting unit):
1. Never wear new clothes, though you think they may fit, they really might not - I spent a large portion of my run pulling up my pants which had stretched apparently.
2. Never underestimate the power of one's mind. Running has a lot to do with your body, sure, but it has even more to do with your mind. Thoughts can control how well or how ill you are going to do in a run. I haven't figured out what is the best mindset yet, or what I can stand to think of while running that will sufficiently divert me (like the T.V. of running) long enough for me to get through.
3. Start out slower than you think you should. What we thought was a reasonable pace turned out to kick my ass after 20 minutes.
4. Hills are the devil. Period.
5. Friends are important. They will make you run faster than you think you can, harder than you think you should, the good ones will run back to scrape you off the pavement, and the great ones will hang back to make sure you keep going. ;-)

Aside from running life is going well. I am working hard as always. I had a breakthrough this week about fear. In articling the danger is that you don't know what you don't know. I guess that is in life generally. Probably also why childrens toys were painted with led-based paint at one time - guess it's unavoidable.

Wedding planning is steadily moving on. I have the first batch of invitations out, and it is official - 18 people are coming to my wedding (including me and T.J.) Not sure if the first round of invites has made its way though the mail system yet. If it has, and you have gotten one, please let me know - at least for peace of mind.

My family is doing well - Mom came to visit this weekend. It was really good to see her. I often forget how much I miss my parents, even though I struggle with lonliness sometimes. Funny thing about parents. Very funny thing.

I have been struggling with life lately, I won't deny this. I am in the process of figuring out where I fit. Most people experience this at a younger age I think, but owing to the ridiculous amount of education I have went through, I think mine has been delayed. Another transition, a further step away from childhood towards... something.

The City is so green now! I love spring. I hate allergies, but one must always take the bad with the good. The leaves are out on the trees, the grass is growing, and the flowers will be blooming soon (OK, in Edmonton we may have another month).

I am going down to southern Alberta this weekend. It is Morgan's baptism - she is sure growing up! I am really looking forward to seeing my family, to smelling the country air, and of course, having a Wendy's milkshake.

My First Race

Wow.

If you would have asked me a couple years ago if I would ever consider myself a runner, I would have laughed at you, came up with some bullshit about being worried about my knee and tried to change the subject. Well, that was a couple years ago.

As per my last post, I have begun running. I like it. It's tough, and sometimes I am gasping for breath, really wondering how I am going to move one foot in front of the other yet one more time, but it's totally worth it.

I like the challenge, I like how there are so many ways to measure improvement, that you can always tell whether today was better or worse than the day before. I love how it is outdoors, and bad weather doesn't necessarily mean being stuck inside.

Today I ran my first 5k race. It was a humbling experience to see how fast most of the group ran - I was in the last batch of finishers, that's for sure. It was amazing to see the guy in front, sprinting his way to the finish line, and to see the women pushing their baby strollers.

Despite the struggle, I loved every minute of it! I did manage to learn a thing or two:

1. Always charge the Ipod the day before;
2. Wake up a few hours before and eat oatmeal;
3. Post-run hotdogs are a good idea;
4. Have a variety of clothes to deal with weather changes;
5. Meet people; and
6. run with someone else if possible.

I am sure there will be lots of lessons in the future!

The running bride

Went to the Billiards club last night for Bryan's birthday. It was a pleasant experience being there, seeing old friends and having a good time. We were approached by a kid asking us to dance who was born in 1991. It made me feel old.

Wedding planning is going well. Everyone has been asking me how things are progressing, so I figured I would post about it. That way, this time next year, I will be able to look back at these days and laugh... or cry.

Invitations are finished, now just a matter of sending them out. I am aiming to hand deliver most invitations, however I expect that some will have to be mailed to those I rarely get a chance to see. I am struggling with not letting people bring dates. I want to make it clear that we simply don't have the room to have people invite dates whom I have never met. Any suggestions on what to write in the invitation would be more than welcome!

Mom has this epic slide show made. I am looking forward to seeing it! We're looking at 20 minutes of T.J. and Jodi goodness!

We're going shopping for rings today. Should be fun. I am not going for anything spectacular. I really like my engagement ring, but would like something in a wedding band that I could wear while traveling and not be perpetually worried about getting mugged.

Speaking of traveling... Kinda... Running is going well. I love running. Really odd considering that only a few months ago I hated and feared the thought of running more than a couple blocks. Angela has joined me at the Running Room. We are training for our first 5km, though I think I will be running a 5 Km with Cindy on Saturday.

All of my running is geared towards a 1/2 marathon (approximately 21 km run) in Las Vegas in December. I know that it is a really big goal, and there are some people who have warned me of how high I have set my sights, but you know, I have never set my sights on something and not done it. So I will take this dedication and apply it to running, and complete my half marathon.

And who knows? Maybe we'll do a marathon next year!

Articling is winding to a close. I am planning my bar call, and how life will feel like when the other students show up and I actually have words of wisdom for others in the firm. Should be great!

It's April and I don't have exams! Talk about a wonderful feeling. I can walk through the city, smell the hot dogs at the stands, look up at the clearest blue sky imaginable, and not want to be anywhere but here. Edmonton is beautiful in the spring... a little dirty from the remnants of winter, but once the first rain comes, there is no prettier place on the planet.

Today, we golf!

A monthly review

So March has flown by. Seriously fast. I have blinked, and it is spring. It is light out when I leave work now. That makes me happy (though the increased daylight means I can work longer without noticing).

I love the fresh smell of spring. That clean smell after the first rain begins to wash away the crap that has been collecting on the city streets for the past 6 months. I don't like the spring winds that pick up all the dust and dirt lingering on the roads, and look forward to the first major deluge that will wash away the dirty remnants of winter.

We went to Jasper on our firm's ski trip last weekend. Talk about fun. No, I did not ski. Instead, T.J. and I walked into the Jasper townsite and spent some long-overdue time with the Jayminator (who, incidentally, is going to be an auntie to a little girl soon!)



I have started my training for the 1/2 marathon in December. I find myself thinking I won't make it, and how awful that would be. This disturbs me, as thinking this way is totally the wrong mindset, and may very well be the reason I have spent the past year struggling with my weight despite "dieting" constantly. The fear of failure prevents the mind and body from doing what simply needs to be done to meet a goal. Food for thought I guess.

So yeah, the first class I looked like a piece of work - showed up 5 minutes late decked out in my suit and high heels only to open my bag and discover that I had left my brand new running shoes at home. Needless to say, I didn't run at the first clinic. I have, however, been running on my own outside, which is a big step for me. I have ran 7 km this week, and anticipate that this will almost double next week. I can't believe it, I am a runner!

Let the 1/2 marathon training begin! Those of you looking for a challenge, feel free to join me.

Its time for dancin!

You know, there's just something about dancing... I remember my first dance, at DA Ferguson in Taber, being all nervous, with the girls on one side of the room, and the boys on the other, only coming together at the last minute.

I remember grade 10 math class when Mills would yell out, "it's time for dancing!" and we would all squirm in our seats, just for something to do.

The other night, I had just finished a great run! I did 5 km in 41 minutes, and was heading home. Wait, I have to back up a second...

I have a confession to make.

Every time I play my Ipod I have this almost uncontrollable urge to start dancing. This happens whether I am in the office, on the treadmill, and especially when I am on the train!

Back to my story - I took the train to Clareview, T.J. picked me up and my ipod was playing a song too great to be ignored (Toto's "Africa") so I just kept on listening. Then I had to do dishes, and before I knew it, I was dancing my heart out in my kitchen to music that no one else could hear.

Now that's happiness.

March 5th

When I was younger, every March 5th I would sit down and take a yearly stock of my life. In university, I was either too drunk, hungover, or furiously writing term papers to take the yearly stock too serious.

Why March 5th? I dunno. It's as good a day as any.

I'm looking for some profound insight that I can take with me for the next 365 days, and all I can think of is how good the weight watcher's banana bread I just baked tastes.

I understand now what most people mean when time flies by. I am headed into the final stretch of my articling year (OK, just passed the half way mark, but I choose to pretend it's actually longer). Time has flown by, and I have hardly noticed. This week, my body recognized spring, and the lengthening of the days subconsciously before I had even figured out that it was March already.

Every year I used to take stock of goals that I was working towards. As I sit here now, it is truly sick for a 13 year old to be taking such stock of life. Oh well, at least I can tell T.J. that it was learned from a young age! One of the most fundamental shifts that I have found going from school to the working world is that you can easily lose your goals, and get caught up in the "daily grind." Up until this year I was sure that the daily grind meant 3 to 4 hours of classes, and a 100% final every once and awhile. I was spoiled. The workaholic in me can easily see how the skyscraper, the sea of files and terrible office decor can suck one into believing that is all there is to life.

So today I take stock of my goals, to remind myself that, though work will be an integral part of my life (that's why I spent 8 ungodly years learning a profession, and will spend a lifetime perfecting it), I have to keep extra-curricular Jodi alive as well.

I am looking forward to running my half marathon in December. OK, who am I kidding, I am very scared that I will not be ready in time. Someone once told me that fear of failure is a terrible motivator (though it seems to have gotten me through articling OK.) In keeping with the spirit of a very good point, I choose to be not scared, but excited instead, as I have never been that good at running, and by the end of this year I will be damn good. And I will get to drink my face off in Vegas. This looks to be a good year.

I am getting married, if anyone didn't know. To a wonderful man. We have our differences, I guess if we didn't, I'd be marrying myself, and that wedding day would be remarkably awkward. I don't know if this classifies as a goal, though I think it was a goal for most of the girls that I went to high school with. Meh, I got a man for life, check that one off the bucket list.

I am finishing my EPIC European scrapbook. It is 63 pages long, and I am on day 14 of 50. I find this remarkably soothing after a hectic day at life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't marvel at how long ago that was. I think the trip changed me significantly, and my thirst for traveling is stronger than ever before. My only sad thing is that I didn't enjoy the trip to the best of my abilities. I spent a lot of my time shy, or nervous, or lonely because I lacked the courage to be me. I also regret not drinking more.

All in all, life is going well. I'm adjusting to life in the working world. The paychecks were the first thing I adjusted to! Now to the rest that goes with it. I have to smile that I am actually working a full time job, with a real career, when it seemed like a speck of light in an endless tunnel of 8 AM Evidence with Royal only one year ago!

I must confess I am not as happy as I usually am. This year has had it's emotional highs and lows, that's for sure. I still hear songs and cry over lives lost, and moments that exist only in my memory now. I have severe attacks of homesickness, the likes of which I have never felt before. It must be something about actually working, and building a life in Edmonton, beyond merely attending the U of A. Sure took awhile to get homesick!

But... I will survive. The days are getting longer, and I can already smell the barbecues being lit up around the neighbourhood. Soon will come the dog days of summer, the camping and the Taste of Edmonton. It can only get better from here!

Time goes by

I'm very tired.

I will skip the apologies to my oh so many readers for my lacklustre blogging as of late.

Down to the grit.

Articling is quite the test. I laugh, I cry, I swear that surviving to September will be a feat in and of itself, then excitedly ramble on about doing this for the rest of my life. I work lots, I seem to have files where I have accomplished very little.

Dad's right, the job is not causing me stress, I am causing me stress. Life has changed quite a bit, and I'm just keeping up.

Wedding planning is going well. There are things that I have begun researching far too early, and somethings far too late. Still on a photography hunt. They are a dime a dozen, but very expensive!

There will be great surprises at our wedding! Going to be one hell of a party!

The Walk

There are times in life when you are forced to face your mortality. More often than not, they are funerals. Funerals often remind me of a pilgrimage of sorts, where the family who have scattered to the corners of the earth make their way back to where it all began to pay homage to what was and never will be again.

I find that I am most selfish and most empathetic at funerals. I cry more so for those who are left than those who are gone. I feel their pain.

My selfishness is the time I spend contemplating my own existence. The sheer pain of knowing that I can never go back is truly terrifying. The childhood that I remember, filled with horses, fighting, the farm, snow drift fortresses and afternoons developing some serious Nintendo-thumb are gone. They only exist in my memory. Perhaps this is why elderly people are often ready to die - the world they know is more in their memory than in reality. Perhaps that is the most fundamental shift that defines adulthood. Perhaps being in your "prime" is where the amount of your life that exists in memory and the amount of your life that exists in reality balance out. You have experienced enough to be well-practiced, but are not stuck in the haze of memory.

I am sad. It will pass, but truly, things will never ever be the same.

As for articling, I'm getting better at this whole lawyer thing each and every day.

Life, Oh Life!

I do not wish my blog to become eulogy central, however it seems as though recent events conspire against me. Today my aunt Carol passed away in Calgary.

Once I collect my thoughts, I will attempt to do her justice. It's going to take a bit.

But for now, know that I am doing well. Work is draining me, but I will survive and be the better person for it. My colleagues make those 12 hour days so much better than they would be otherwise. My family (apart from the above), is doing well. I love T.J. more than I ever have, though the wedding planning is going at a snail's pace.

I am dieting and will be running a marathon in December of this year in Las Vegas. Running was the one sport that I was never naturally good at, making it a greater challenge than most other sports.

Friends are amazing. They are supportive, patient and all that I need in the people around me. I am truly blessed. They also get me drunk. I am doubly blessed.

I am constantly having snippets of profound thoughts, intense ideas and touching emotions. Most don't last long enough for me to do more than merely enjoy the fact that I have learnt a thing or two in the past six months.