Exhaustion

This past week has been a gauntlet of activity! From turning 26, to Angela's wedding, to getting swamped at work, I found myself walking through a dreadful haze, angry at the world, exhausted and bitter over the lack of control I had over my own scheduling.



Thank God that is over.



It is really easy to lose perspective as an articling student. Every file is a crisis, every conversation a potential career ender. Love for the law gets lost among the paperwork and very late nights.



Most importantly, friends, family and loved ones become a duty, not a simply joy in a heavy world.



Last week I walked around in a grumble, much like pig pen in Charlie brown walks around with a dust cloud. If there is one thing I know about myself, it is that I can sure be a vile creature when the urge over takes me.

My epiphany of the week, or perhaps month, was at Matt and Angela's wedding on Saturday. Actually, I think I had an epiphany per drink, but that is aside the point.



I was angry, so very angry during the course of the week leading up to the wedding that my judgment was clouded. But something happened at the wedding. I relaxed, I forgave those people who I shouldn't judge so harshly, and apparently winged a speech that brought a tear to most eyes in the room (Angela's especially, which I will forever wear as a badge of honour).



My main epiphany was sitting outside of the country club, on the patio, enjoying the music wafting from inside. I sat on a metal chair, enjoying the company of the first moment of space/silence that I had had in a very long time. I watched my friends on the dance through the window... Chris was doing some funky arm thing (though he swore he got better as the night progressed), Lorne was pelvic thrusting like it was going out of style, Jaymie was bouncing around like she always does, MANgela was visiting relatives, and Anton did what Anton does best. T.J. was in the thick of it, though not for long, as he had my drunken ass to take care of.



At that point I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world. Not Cairo, London, Paris. Not Budapest, or Monaco, or even Amsterdam.



I am a very lucky individual. I have been blessed to be surrounded by some very amazing people. I don't deserve to be surrounded by them. Perhaps they know this, making them even more amazing. But this year, this career, will not succeed without them.