An Ode to an old friend

Those of you who know me know that I have been blessed with some wonderful women in my life. I had the fortune of meeting amazing women early in my wanderings on this planet. You also know that my ability to keep in touch with the general population is lacking. I do, however, have the fortune of keeping in touch with the ones who, in my life, made a difference, had an impact and to whom I can extend a sincere thank you for support, patience, friendship and entertainment.

Those of you who know me well also know that I am no stranger to death. It has taken quite a few friends and relatives of mine long before their time. I have attended more funerals in one year than T.J. has in his life.

Tomorrow, I get to go to another one.

Thus begins a, likely extended, ode to an amazing young woman who taught me so much, asked for so little and was an influential part of my life for years.



On Monday I was informed that my old friend, Shawna Dempsey, had died while being air ambulanced to Calgary with a lung infection. She was 26 years old with the wisdom of a 90 year old, and the energy of an exuberant 10 year old, eyes wide open, always looking for a challenge, excitement and a way to live life to its fullest.

I have spent the rest of this week throwing myself into work and CPLED, ensuring that it all gets done before I travel home to pay my last respects. The people on the train must try to avoid looking at me when they see me cry quietly and look out the window into the perpetual darkness that is an Edmonton winter.

AND NOW, POST-FUNERAL (3 DAYS AFTER THE ABOVE), I HAVE A THING OR TWO TO SAY.

How is it that we can put a man on the moon, we can create robots and build skyscrapers to the heavens yet we can still die of a cold? I will never understand it. I don't think it is worth my time to understand. I suppose this is the time that people throw themselves to God, and rely on faith that there is truly a purpose to the chaos we call existence.

Fuck it hurts.

I have spent the past two days in Lethbridge, grieving and laughing, crying and reminiscing. Her funeral was exactly what such a painful memorial should be. Personal, full of Kleenex and all things Shawna Rae Dempsey Ali. I was amazed that so many people had been affected by her, touched by her spirit enough to come pay their last respects. I have the brief hope that one day, I too will have had such an impact on so many people.

The thing about funerals is that I always listen to the memories the stories and the discussion of perennial personality traits and wonder how well I really knew the person. I wonder if I didn't really know them, or if my sense of their person, their hopes and dreams were different than reality. Shawna was no different. I listened to the celebration of her life, saddened at how much I miss her, and how much I have missed of her remarkably exciting life while I have been off at school, chasing a dream that began so long ago.

The saddest thing, the thing that keeps my eyes from drying is that I have so many memories of Shawna that no one on the planet is able to share with me anymore. I didn't know Shawna through work, rugby or some other organization. I met her in math class, and tried to keep up for three years. Most of my memories, despite my best intentions, will fade with her, as I am not a good enough story teller to enroll anyone but her in the stories of her exploits.

Things I remember about Shawna Rae Dempsey:



1. We as a group made the Canacar - a wonderful celebration of our Canadian national holiday. We took hundreds of canadian flag print outs and taped them to her car. We covered the entire car, and when that wasn't good enough, we put Molson Canadian cans on her antenna and used a tie down to hook a Canadian flag to the roof. We drove down Mayor Magrath with pride, and quite a bit of attention!

2. Shawna had this great idea that anyone we had a crush on, our affection could be let out by a "drive by shouting." Yes, embarrassingly enough, we would drive by the houses of our very special interest and shout out the window (feebly) our undying love.

3. We went to Edmonton with Ben and Richard to visit my family while the boys participated in the NBA hoop it up. We took the back roads (the 36) up to Edmonton, so that Rich could see his hometown of Bashaw. Our journey was amazingly eventful for a 5 hour prairie drive. We got lost and found a dead end. Likely the only dead end in southern Alberta. After backtracking 1/2 an hour, stopping for chinese food dinner and driving around the bussling metropolis of Bashaw, we still managed to make it to Edmonton in 5 hours. Both Shawna and I drove, going roughly 170 down the empty prairie road. Of all things, we got a photo radar on the Whitemud doing 5k over the speed limit.

4. Math class, with Mrs. Whitehead was terrible. So terrible that we became friends to combat the boredom.

5. Shawna used to work picking beets in the field. Her heels were cracked and bleeding lots of time that I picked her up after work in a northside parking lot.

6. She made the best mac and cheese. I always wondered her secret until I saw her spoon heaps of cheese wiz into the pot.

7. She introduced me to Pride and Prejudice, and much of our time was spent on the couches in her parents basement, watching any of the huge collection of VHS. That is, until Brittney began her employment at Blockbuster and we had a much wider library to choose from.

8. We went camping at Park Lake with Jen Lumley. Jen had to work early so she went to bed. Shawna and I had a bad tendency of not sleeping when we were together, and spent the entire night, by the fire, discussing life and other things I cannot (sadly) remember. Half way through the night, staying up to see the sunrise became our primary goal and we stayed by the fire until a sliver of light emanated from the horizon. We had a better view from the road behind our campsite and walked out there with our lone flashlight. Almost immediately upon making it up the road, we came upon the silhouette of a hooded figure crouched on the side of the road. Shawna immediately screamed and jumped behind me for protection. Our flashlight quickly illuminated a yield sign.

9. Pretending to be sleeping at Shawna's house in the basement to avoid the wrath of her father (it was 2 am and we weren't quiet), Shawna told me to pretend to sleep with my mouth open, as everyone slept with their mouths open and he would notice if I had mine closed.

10. The beginning of summer Shawna and I made a goal to learn to do a back flip on her trampoline. In true Dempsey spirit she encouraged me, pushed me, cajoled me and by the end of our first day I had done a flip. When she tried, I was far too scared for her safety to even let her try!

11. She spent the night at my house in Edmonton with a friend on their trip to go Skydiving. She is the reason I went skydiving, and even mustered the courage. She always pushed the envelope, and would try anything twice. I watched the video of it a few months later at her house in Lethbridge - scared the crap out of me!

12. When I was in calculus in grade 12, she would knock on the classroom door and tell the teacher that she was there to pick me up and take me home to babysit Jordan. In reality, we were going to CCH to visit boys.

13. We went to the gym in the mornings before school in grade 12. She was always more physically fit than I was. Something I was always jealous about. She had much more drive than I, which is an amazing feat as I am generally not a lazy person.

14. We went to the bar in Lethbridge (one of three or four times in the bar back home) and ended up sitting with this really cute British officer stationed at CFB Suffield. He was completely smitten with Shawna, and when I would have ended the night, she convinced me to grab a coffee at Tim Horton's and we all talked for hours (if anyone has the undying urge to hear how that night ended, I fear that died with Shawna).

15. She and I sat at the same table at grad, along with Kevin and his family, and Jaymie and hers. Inadvertently, we all chose the same color dress.



16. Shawna opted to go to the dry grad, while Jen and I drank our faces off at the safe grad. Not wanting to miss a thing though, we promised to meet up afterward, to gossip about the nights events. Upon being delivered home by some nice, patient parents who I do not remember, in a car I don't remember, and how I got there I don't remember at all, I found Shawna, very soberly sitting in her car waiting. What happened after that I hardly remember, it is but snapshots instead of live video. My next snapshot is at a table with Shawna, Jaymie and Jen at Denny's on the southside. I heard the word macdonalds and apparently got up and left (we hadn't even got our drinks yet). Shawna bought me macdonalds and left it on my lap while her and Jaymie went into the restaurant and had breakfast. Jen and I slept soundly in the car. I vomited black that night.

17. When Jessie went missing, Shawna was the first one out there searching with me. We would walk through (along with Devon, Rich and others) the brush in the river valley, praying and screaming her name. We didn't find her. Shawna and I would take food to the people who made up the search party and while I talked to the people about their experiences, it was Shawna's job to listen to any conversation they had, hoping to catch a hint of anything, anything at all, that we could take, hold onto and hope for.

18. The last year of high school I may or may not have had a party or two at my house on Redcrow Blvd. I will never forget Shawna and Peter getting totally blitzed out of their minds, and hiding from us. I was so worried and canvassed the neighborhood hoping to find them. All I could hear was drunken giggling from a source I couldn't determine. Meanwhile they were hiding under a car, playing a very one sided game of hide and go seek.

19. She taught me how to blow smoke rings. I don't know how she knew, considering she never smoked.

20. We went swimming in the middle of the night at Park Lake, while camping with the boys. They weren't quite sure (and were remarkably slow at figuring out) what we were waving in the air. They thought it was our towels. Dummies.

21. I almost completely forgot about our hurrican Mitch experiment. we made a gingerbread house, so beautifully decorated - even tried to do it the natural way and made stained glass windows by baking lifesavers into the holes cut out. got a great idea to put it on a crate when icing the sides together. Of course, the sides fell down, and crashed to the ground. By the end of the night we were covered in icing sugar and our house was nothing more than a pile of rubble with some candies on it!



I am scared to stop writing, stop listing memories for fear that I will have forgotten them completely the next opportunity I have to recount the life that I once led, with a person that will always hold a special place in my heart. Her spirit was so strong and powerful, something I always wish that I could have learned from her. Where Shawna was, she was happy. If she wasn't happy, she would change it. She never lamented her circumstances; it wasn't in her to complain, but change was the order of the day.

She wrote her lifelong motto on a school picture she once gave to me:



The words, her words, have echoed in everything I have done and thought this past week. Live TODAY like there's no TOMORROW. Everything that I have done in my life in the past while has not been true to this timeless statement. There are relatively few days in the past 4 months that I would be proud to call my last, if any. So, on my 5 hour drive (4 hours crying) I promised Shawna and myself that I would take up her mantra where she left it off, and do it the justice it deserves.

I promise you Shawna, to be more like you.

Snow - the end of seasonal purgatory

I awoke this morning to a fantastic new sight - snow. Now, I had never thought that I would feel this amount of excitement or elation at the prospect of 6 future months of cold and awkward trudging. However, I look outside (my opinions may be affected by the fact that it is warm inside) and see the white purity that is the symbol for so many future things. Namely:

1. Christmas is coming. T.J. and I will be having our first Christmas together. I am sure this will shock most people, but we tend to go slow in our relationship. Waiting four years to share Christmas is nothing compared to the year and a half it took for me to meet his mother (who, incidentaly, lives no more than 5 blocks away.)

2. Two weeks until our engagement party. I thank all of those people who are attending - it sure does mean a lot to me. I am really excited to see people. I consider it the kick-off to our wedding. So far it hasn't really felt like we are getting married. I guess we are!

3. Skiing. Our firm has a retreat where I am going to get pampered and ski. Loving it!

4. The end of CPLED. I have never thought it possible that an assignment every week could steal your soul more so than working long hours. It does. I can't really explain why, but post-CPLED, I am going to have to engage in some soul-building activities.

5. This snowfall is proof that time is actually marching forward. The days are actually progressing. As the seasons change, surely my articling will end and I will be called to the bar. New students will be hired and I will no longer be the dumbest person in the room. Oh how I look forward to that day!

I think those are enough reasons right now to enjoy this snowfall. Time for some breakfast in bed.

If only I could be Elizabeth

So I at the point in articling where I am asking myself, "is this it?"

I had a great trip to Calgary this weekend, and spent the entire drive listening to Pride and Prejudice on my laptop. Nothing like a long drive and great novel to remove oneself from the world (and on a highway nonetheless).

I have determined this weekend that Pemberly would suit me just fine.

So my question is thrown out to all the articling students that are reading this, either on facebook or my blog. Is this it? Are you content with this being it? If you don't feel comfortable giving a public answer, feel free to message me in private, and you're confidentiality will be respected. Here is what I am going through:

1. I work a lot. I have a large student loan. I feel as though I have jumped on a treadmill, running fast and not going anywhere.

2. I like the people in my office a lot, and for the most part, the work that I do. I do not like being the dumbest in the office.

3. I like my time off, but I hate that I think of work outside the office.

4. I like the structure of having a real job that is challenging and secure. I also feel trapped by the thought that I have attained my goal, and the situation I find myself in will last years.

So my question to you all: Now what?

A Change of Scenery

So I am in my second week of CPLED starting tomorrow. A whole week learning how to talk to people. For those of you who know me, I have no issue talking to people at all.

I think that anyone who was a bartender for as long as I was should get a bye on this week.

I had a great (but short) weekend. Got to hang at Chris' house on Friday - watched the Dollhouse (a show). The acting was crap, the premise was great, they met in the middle to create a force of fantastically mind-numbing entertainment.

Saturday was hanging out with Angela having a great bake day (we do not often bake, and perhaps should consider actually paying attention when we do).

Sunday, I went to the gym, fell in love with a hashbrown making man, went to work, completed projects that had gathered dust on my desk, and went to the movie Couple's retreat.

Couple's Retreat - has occasional funny moments. Full of - let's make our marriage work, we got married for the right reasons and simply forgot them - humour. When his kid takes a dump is the funniest part of the movie.

Off to see some old friends tomorrow!

Memory Court

So my body felt a feeling today that it hasn't in years: the power of volleyball knee-pads, warm with use, pushed down to my ankles after a hard-won victory.

I started a volleyball league today. The first time that I have played competitively since LVC, since my knee was so twisted and ripped that rolling over in bed would put me on crutches for a week.

And I loved every minute of it. The fact that we kicked ass didn't hurt either!

Playing tonight brought back memories that had been long repressed. The feeling of walking through deserted school hallways in gym clothes, sitting on the sidelines keeping score, and paying no attention to the clock, or when to be home.

I remember winning at St. Mary's - whatever championship it was, and our pictures got in the paper. I served half the game that day. With each ace, as if the sport itself wasn't enough activity, we would slam our hands down on the ground, jump excitedly and yell "ACE!" I remember playing in one gym where the roof was so low that almost every time we set we hit the roof and lost points. I remember taking the bus back to Taber with the boys, it was dark, cold and the subs we stopped to get were delicious.

I guess the longer I have been in Edmonton the more I have forgotten of a life in a very distant past. Today was a resurrection of a more athletic and competitive me. I miss that me.

Glad to have that part of me back, or at least talking loud enough I can hear.

More photos

As homage to the 34 degrees it hit today, I decided to post more pictures on this site!

First day of fall fiesta!

Life continues (how I know being a lawyer is for me)

For those of you who don't already know, I work a lot. It is par for the course when you are an articling student I guess. I would rather be doing personal stuff instead of work, just like anyone else. Yet despite the typical groan when I realize that my weekend will be full of CPLED or some other form of legal drafting I become mentally engaged with my work and find myself enjoying all that I do.

One surprising side effect of articling is how my transformation into a full lawyer is affecting other areas of my life.

Thus, a top 10 list:

1. I asked my wedding reception venue whether or not my deposit was going to be held in trust, and said I would give authority to co-mingle.

2. I get really excited when talking about the British reality series, "Heir Hunter" that follows companies trying to find the rightful heir to small intestate fortunes.

3. I talk of agreements in my sleep.

4. I am currently trying to enter negotiations to reduce the price of my wedding dress.

5. Three words: Free Juice Fridge!

6. I speak of CPLED as if it is a disease I caught, and that with treatment it should go away in a few more months.

7. I am more excited to remain on "competency demonstrated" island, than I am about a clean house (the more competent I am, the more likely I can hire a cleaner).

8. I have lunch dates every day for the next two weeks.

9. I only log on to Facebook 3 times per day.

and finally, how you know I am continuing this legal transition...

10. I laughed my ass of at Matt and Angela's wedding, when Matt's lawyer parents gave the following speech:

"When Ingrid and I were in law school, we decided to open a file together. His name was Matt. Hopefully in a few years Matt and Angela will open up a few sub-folders."

Exhaustion

This past week has been a gauntlet of activity! From turning 26, to Angela's wedding, to getting swamped at work, I found myself walking through a dreadful haze, angry at the world, exhausted and bitter over the lack of control I had over my own scheduling.



Thank God that is over.



It is really easy to lose perspective as an articling student. Every file is a crisis, every conversation a potential career ender. Love for the law gets lost among the paperwork and very late nights.



Most importantly, friends, family and loved ones become a duty, not a simply joy in a heavy world.



Last week I walked around in a grumble, much like pig pen in Charlie brown walks around with a dust cloud. If there is one thing I know about myself, it is that I can sure be a vile creature when the urge over takes me.

My epiphany of the week, or perhaps month, was at Matt and Angela's wedding on Saturday. Actually, I think I had an epiphany per drink, but that is aside the point.



I was angry, so very angry during the course of the week leading up to the wedding that my judgment was clouded. But something happened at the wedding. I relaxed, I forgave those people who I shouldn't judge so harshly, and apparently winged a speech that brought a tear to most eyes in the room (Angela's especially, which I will forever wear as a badge of honour).



My main epiphany was sitting outside of the country club, on the patio, enjoying the music wafting from inside. I sat on a metal chair, enjoying the company of the first moment of space/silence that I had had in a very long time. I watched my friends on the dance through the window... Chris was doing some funky arm thing (though he swore he got better as the night progressed), Lorne was pelvic thrusting like it was going out of style, Jaymie was bouncing around like she always does, MANgela was visiting relatives, and Anton did what Anton does best. T.J. was in the thick of it, though not for long, as he had my drunken ass to take care of.



At that point I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world. Not Cairo, London, Paris. Not Budapest, or Monaco, or even Amsterdam.



I am a very lucky individual. I have been blessed to be surrounded by some very amazing people. I don't deserve to be surrounded by them. Perhaps they know this, making them even more amazing. But this year, this career, will not succeed without them.

Verona, Venice and Pisa

Here goes:

Life as a lawyer

So I just completed my first session of in-class CPLED. Most of the time was spent on orientation, and seemingly endless discussions on how bad being a lawyer sucks.

It was nice to hear from CJ Wachowich. He was one of the few I found who made me feel proud to be becoming a lawyer. It was pleasant to hear his war stories, and to find that after as many years as he has been in the daily midst of litigation it is possible to still like the law.

I mean, who in their right mind would enter a profession where they are constantly reminded of the following:

1. That many lawyers, and mainly female lawyers leave the profession within 5 years.
2. That the hours will be almost intolerably long, and the pay for the first while intolerably low (especially considering student loan payments.)
3. That your reputation is everything, and slipping once will take a lifetime to recover from.
4. That wearing your hat in a restaurant is not becoming of a lawyer.
5. That we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard in our personal life. How many jobs do you know have positive duties to this extent outside of the office?
6. Working for free is required.
7. There are a multitude of programs set up to aid lawyers suffering from addiction, stress, marital discord, and the like - which will be all of us at at least one point in our life.
8. That at least once in our career things will go wrong, and it will be painful, and it may result in very bad things happening.

After all of that, who doesn't want to be a lawyer???

You know, when I am in the office, I really like doing "law-talking" stuff. I enjoy the people, I enjoy the research, and working in a situation where I am paid to learn is exactly suited to my personality. I have been challenged on a regular basis. I like challenge.

Yet everyone spouts: it will be hard, non-monetary rewards will be sparse, and most people crack under the pressure. It's like rallying the troops to a war that is voluntary and will destroy one's life. At some point such a damaging repetitive message will be believed. No wonder people leave this profession in droves.

Fact: The number of lawyers who have been at the bar 6-10 years is 27% less than the number who have been at the bar 0-5 years (2006 Alberta numbers)

As Per Your Request Carol!

Duane and Kelly's wedding yesterday was fantastic. I thought I played the roll of drunk cousin really well. I don't particularly know why I drank as much as I did, but it sure felt good to let loose a little. And it was great to see my family. Some members, like Shauna and Ryan, Gwen and Gord, and Wayne and Irene, I haven't seen for years and years.

The bride and groom looked fantastic, the kids had a great time, and I kissed a pig. Look for pictures to come up shortly!

(This refers to the below three posts): Here are pictures from the first 10 days of my European excursion. I will post more once I know more about what I actually took pictures of!

The Chateau, Pont du Gard and Barcelona

I would encourage you to play the music with the show as well. It's fun stuff!

London and Paris

home again home again jiggity jig

its been awhile since i got around to posting.

Right now it is the final day of my voyage - jason and I go home today. I don't have many regrets from this trip, spending so little time in london is one of them.

I can't even begin to recount what has happened since my last post. When I am warm in my bed with my laptop I will have the time and urge to fully relate my adventures. Lets just say I learnt a lot on my last 2 weeks, about myself and what I fear, and of relationships and why TJ and have such a strong one.

I have seen paradise in Switzerland, and drank 2L of beer in the same hall Hitler planned his putsch. I am the same height as Anne Frank was, and I gazed out the same window to the same chestnut tree as her. I wished on a monkey and walked through the eerie walls of a gas chamber in Madhausen.

I have drank redbull liquer, and so much blue curacao that I expelled colored bodily wasted for a whole day. I have enjoyed the coffee shops, and the red light district. I have watched new friends turn into old mates, sharing common (and not so common) experiences.

And importantly, I am going home. i am happy to go home. Back to a family who loves me, to a man who has promised to take care of me forever. I get to learn how to be a wife, and a lawyer, without sacrificing memories or my new found love for seeing all the world has to offer!

oh yeah, and jason is exhausted. never seen someone sleep so much!!!

Turkey and the Eastern Bloc

I never thought that I would say this, but France and Turkey are right now on the shortlist for best European country.

We went to Turkey for 5 days. Saw Troy, and spent the night in Cannakale, then on to the famous Anzac cove memorial - pissed me off that all us Canadians got was a Vimy drive-by.

Headed to Istanbul for 3 days. I love Istanbul. Though our hotel wasn't the greatest, it made up for it in location. Went to a turkish bath (aka a human car wash) and was rubbed down by a woman. Bartered in the Grand Bazaar, and got some kisses (though others may have gotten more) from the overzealous vendors. Smoked an incredible amount of hookah, banana, chocolate, cappuchino, and tutti fruity.

Stumbled upon a museum with the rod of Moses, the sword of David, the Cup of Abraham and the head of John the Baptist. Have to check validity of this when I get home, but the same place had the beard of the prophet Mohammad.

Went to the shittiest dinner ever, and got on stage twice for belly dancing.

Drove to Bulgaria - really not too much to see. There was a huge cathedral. the vendors were all selling real Nazi stuff including pins, rings, smoke cases, and lighters... but I was too cheap.

Drove to Serbia today, and had 1 hour to walk around downtown. as it is Sunday there isn't really that much to see, though we walked on the bridge Arch Duke Ferdinand was shot on (which caused world war I.)

Smile! I hope you are all doing well. Tomorrow we are in Hungary, then on to Western Europe for the final leg of the voyage. Hard to believe I will be home in 2 weeks!

Egypt

I have just spent a week in egypt. True to their promise, Contiki planned a go go go week for us, full of all the sites they could muster in such a short period of time.

Firstly, our hotel in Cairo is haunted, I swear!

on our first full day we went to the pyramids where i was accosted by men selling goods. I went inside the middle pyramid (it was hotter than hell in there), and rode a camel to the sphynx (which was smaller than I thought).

we took an overnight train to aswan - more comfortable than the bus! then went on a boat to botanical gardens on the nile and to the bazaars in Aswan. I shopped too much - likely have to send stuff home before i get there - suitcase is very very full and i have half a trip left.

We flew to Abu simbel the next day - 30 minute flight to see a very cool temple - though we only spent 45 minutes there. The heat of the day is enough to kill a person - on the way home i noticed that i almost broke my thermometer (which was registering 50 degrees when i left it beside the pool). thank god for the pool.

We then drove to Luxor, where the next day we went to Kernak temple, Luxor temple and went to the valley of the kings (I went into 3 different tombs, but not king tut's = as i was in a foul mood by then.)

Got the Pharoah's revenge along with 10 (so far) of my travel companions.

Drove then to Herghada - a sea side resort town on the red sea. Spent today snorkelling and just hanging on a boat in the red sea before a 6 hour bus ride back to Cairo.

There is so much more, but apparently I have to sleep now and again!

Later!

Holy Italia

Wow, as per Sandra's comment, it has been awhile since I have posted. It really sucks that my photos won't come on here properly, especially since I have roughly 1500 by now (and there are a lot more people who have a lot more than I do).

italy was great, but not France! We spent the first couple nights in Venice. It is a great city, and I spent lots of time just wandering about by myself. I even got on one of those water buses! I can really say that I have been on public transit in most cities that we have been in! There wasn't really anything huge to see there, but just walk around and soak in the ambiance. And eat the pizza and gelato (Italy wasn't good for my waistline).

Following Venice, we made our way into Florence. I wasn't expecting big things from there, but holy crap! the city is the heart of teh renaissance it seems. I got to see the fake statue of David, then paid the 10 euro to see the real one (real one is totally epic. fake doesn't even compare). I wanted to see where Machiavelli was tombed, but it was shut to the public. we really lucked out in florence, because it was a monday and everything is closed, but it was a national holiday, so it was all open!

my bank card didn't work in most of italy until we tried some random bank in Rome. Fuck you Scotiabank. Yeah, you heard me.

After Florence, we headed to Rome. Saw the forum, the colliseum, and the pantheaon. Our whole day there I decided to try the catholic way of things, and we made it to mass with the pope. We also happened to be within 15 feet of the pope when he did his little pope-mobile around. it was too cool! Then we were off to the vatican museum (which apparently doesn't have lines anymore) and spent the better part of an hour under the Sistine Chapel. Once you have seen that roof, any of the millions of art pieces in the museum don't even compare. it's like you can't tell what is real and what is not - he painted it in perfect 3D.

We went back into Rome at night for some pictures (took the ghetto train - yay public transit!) only thing is we thought the last train was at 11:30, it was at 10:40 and suddenly we were lost in Rome. Not cool. But Tram 2, and bus 200 later, and we were back in the ghetto where we were staying. Rome stinks like garbage. Not my favourite city at all.

The ruins at pompeii were really cool. I got a bunch of pictures of Mt. Vesuivius, and the brothels (which ironically are the best preserved buildings there.)

We then took an overnight, greek ferry to Greece. I had never spent the night on a boat before. I fared well, but our room smelled like diesel fuel.

We are staying on the Island of corfu right now. It is gorgeous. I love Europe because I can be out in the sun all day, yet not burn! I am pretty brown though.

Today we were out on George's boat (a vulgar, fat greek man who can cook up a storm!). I went paragliding on a whim - somethign I have always wanted to do.

And tomorrow - we are off to Athens. The next day ( I guess Monday) we fly out to Cairo. I don't expect to be online much for the next week or so - but keep commenting! I like to hear how everyone is doing, even if i don't have teh chance to respond right away!

smile!

my attempt at pictures sucks

just know that i am doing well. have two days in greece, then off to egypt! yay team!

The French Riveria

So we have made our way out of Spain and have spent the last two days in Antibes, near Nice on the southern coast of France. It is official - I have fallen completely head over heels for France. Never thought I would say this as I have been bred with the traditional Southern Alberta distates for all things French. France is paradise.

We spent the day on the beach, followed by a trip to Monacco. I lost 5 euro in the Grand Casino. not nearly as others won (or lost). the F1 had just finished, so we got to walk around the track as well.

I donàt know if i have the words to adequately describe the French Riveria. basically take the hardest place to build houses, and build mansions. the houses know no vertical boundaries, and most are stunningly holding onto the cliff with who knows what strength.

For those of you who think i am a rock, i am getting homesick. Working through the feelings slowly, but i would give anything right now to have TJ by my side, seeing the world with me. I do not prescribe to the theory, if you canàt be with the one you love, love the one you are with.

i hope all is well in Canada. if you are bored, feel free to comment here. i havent been getting much by way of feedback (donàt worry, the real journal will be done when i return and can actually post pictures). but I hope that any posts will help me with this feeling that I am not in Kansas anymore.

That having been said, tomorrow Iàm going to be on a boat, and it will really be a big blue watery road. Life is grand.

Jodi

Beaujolais

so i am in wine country in the mid part of france. near lyon - though I haven't and won't see this city. we are staying in a gorgeous chateau (so far downloading pictures has not been kind to me - hopefully I will be able to eventually.)

Today I spent an entire day at the pool and didn't get burnt. i love paris. have some amazing colour - though I can attribute this to the wine as well. these past two days have been spent rather quietly at the contiki chateau de cruix. for that I am glad because paris was non-stop. the view from the chateau is great!

another tour has arrived and we start our cross-dressing party soon. i have quite the costume to wear! the bar here is in the cave - aka the basement of the chateau. it smells a little musty, but the drinks are cheap - particularly the wine;-) for those curious, yesterday i drank wine that was poured straight from the oak cask - it was great!

off to barcelona tomorrow!

Paris

I have died and gone to heaven! last night, I climbed the Eiffel tower - took 80 photos (now I am determined to see paris through my own eyes and not the camera lens!)

I hae been to the eiffel tower, the palace at versailles, the arc u triumphe, and the champs elysee and yet I feel like I have seen very little yet!

Internet sucks here so I will not be writing much today. just know that I am well, and Paris is fantastic! I can't say enough good things!!!

The tour is good so far. People are very friendly and I am enjoying getting to know them.

Allie - Jason and I are having a great time! he is thinking of you and today I believe we will send our first post cards!

London

So Jason and I made it to London quite well. the flight was excellent! on a 767 we were two of 60 people. each of us got our own bench, and I slept quite well (though not much quantity).

Didn't have much time today to walk around london, but walk we did. this city is huge! after a long trip on the underground from heathrow to our hotel, we made a point of walking around as best we could.

All I can say about the traffic here is that it is really considerate of them to put notes on the sidewalk to look left or right for traffic. otherwise I would have been hit many times today. I totally lost my bearings and it was like following a trail of breadcrumbs (or fancy buildings) to get back to our hotel.

The contiki meeting went well. I did pick a bad day to be shy and jet lagged. for the first while it was just me and Jason, sitting there kind of bored. but as teh evening progressed, we got to meet a bunch of people who are on our trip and people who aren't.

Our accommodations are much like Lister Hall. two beds, like a dormatory. The rooms are very small, the hotel itself is huge - easily over 1000 rooms. I think I will be packing it in early tonight (beer makes me sleepy) as we have to be up and at em at 5:30 tomorrow morning. the agenda for tomorrow - travel to paris. Apparently it is going to take us a few hours on the bus to even get to the ferry to cross teh channel. so I can imagine that we will be bonding on the bus for many hours.

Hopefully next time there will be pictures. I am too tired/lazy right now to figure out how to put them on this computer. doesn't really look to have a SD reader - may have to rely on a USB cable.

I'll be keeping you posted as promised!!!!!

An ode to... Taber

Ooooh, give me a home,
where the rednecks roam,
and the wind... it blows all day.
And seldom is heard,
an intelligent word,
and the Martens hang out all day....

It seems fitting that my trip around the world starts where it all began. See, I was born in Taber. And, thanks to my cousin Jen's wedding, I am back.

It is windy. I hate the wind.

So far my trip has been incredibly family oriented! It was Tessa's first birthday - so I got to go to a birthday party. It was Grandpa's 45th AA birthday, so I got to see a very jewel-laden medallion. It seems as though on any given day I will come across 1/2 my family.

Jaymie is back in town. Still crazy (no surprise there!) but it was really good to see her in Lethbridge. Her and I may have went to a store to get the most interesting wedding present that I think Jen will get. I will not say what store, but hint that it was right up Jaymie's alley.

Today I head to Lethbridge to go shopping with Grandma and pick up my Euros and Pounds from the bank. Perhaps then will this trip feel real. I think it sunk in for Jason yesterday when Pam and I compiled a list of stuff he has to do before he goes. He got quiet and looked dumbfounded.

The packing difference between men and women just isn't fair. All Jason needs is listed on a single, small piece of paper. All I needed was on three pages (and 55 pounds of luggage)! I think travelling with Jason is going to pay for itself because I can use his suitcase as well! Maybe 4 pairs of shoes isn't enough....

Well, they are steamcleaning Grandpa Bill's carpets so he can come home from the hospital to a clean house, and the fumes are terrible - time to get out of here - nothing like a strong cleaning solution to make you want breakfast!

If anyone is interested - for the duration of my trip I will blog on here (as it is RSS feeded to facebook), yet put the bulk of my photos on facebook (as the uploader is much easier).

I'm an adult now

So, I graduated. I know you are thinking "it's about f*ing time" and yes, I am thinking that as well.

What a rush! It was only yesterday (figuratively speaking of course) that I walked into the law school as a 1L.

Just a brief recap of my life in law school.

1. Legal Research and Writing - and Professor Sturm playing "smack that" to our "jeopardy questions."

2. Professor Gall bringing his wife's glasses to class. And bringing his wife's cell phone - when it rang in class, he calmly stopped his lecture and asked if anyone was going to answer that. When we informed him that it was in fact his phone, he answered it to tell the caller that his wife wasn't available to take the call.

3. Drinking a bottle of banana rum at Professor Litman's house. I said "Thank you professor, I had a great time." It came out "blah...mmffff...spoofrs... bye."

4. The bloodbath that was my first year moot. Like being lambs led to slaughter. The terms "bootstrapping" "bloodbath" and "judge-shopping." At least Chris Young paid for us to get drunk that night.)

5. TJ and I dressing up as grandma and grandpa for Halloween.

6. My award given to someone else (in error) at the awards ceremony. I felt like a tool.

7. Three fantastic toga parties. TOGA TOGA TOGA.

8. Studying unjust enrichment at Katherine's house. Lorne: We're like Kathrine's two ugly step-sisters. Alanna: Only we are all trying to fit into the same dress!

9. Drinking wine and having excellent food at Alanna's. Shelagh's surprise birthday party was quite fun!

10. Drinking with Kerry.

11. Law Show 2009 - I was the bitch that got things done! The Friday we were supposed to hand out gifts to everyone, not only did I show up late, I got splashed from head to toe with dirty, Edmonton street slush. Fucking handibus.

12. Sheila - Chris's laptop that got me through the first semester of 2L. She had 2 gigs! 2 Gigs! I could start up microsoft word 1997 in 5 minutes flat.

13. Any comments that Professor Brown made in that education building. Yes, they will be the people to teach my children.

14. Lorne kicking our asses at poker at Chelsea's house. Bastard.

15. 3L end of exams bash - firefighters, a bottle of gin, and so ill, so incredibly ill.

16. Winning first place in Inner Tube water polo in 2L. I was the greatest goalie ever. Not that I had to do that much, considering I was part of the most vicious team of women. Seriously scary good.

17. Going to the HMS Pinafore. TJ couldn't make it because of the election, so Crystal McMahon was my date. Hottest date I will ever get!

18. Hitting the ditch on the transcanada hiway on my way home from Lethbridge. Particularly after bragging about my driving skills to Kerry. Also, driving backwards on teh transcanada hiway about 250 metres so we could turn my sorry car around.

19. Skydiving for my 25th birthday.

20. 1L - we were the carbolic refugees. I remember showing up at the dance after our fancy dinner, only to see a woman in a beautiful red ball gown puke all over herself.

21. My first time in court = Jodi: "but what if the Justice says no?" Marissa: "Don't worry, they won't say no." Justice: "no."

22. Dean Percy asking a student to answer a question, to which that student responded: "hold on one moment Dean Percy, while I open my CAN."

23. Getting to school early in the morning, Steve offering me coffee and I promptly telling him no thanks, it tastes like dirt.

24. Hating snails, threatening to go snail hunting, wanting to sabatage them with all my being.

25. When Professor Yahya asked us what we wanted to be after law school, I told him I wanted to be a judge, he told me I would have to have certain friends and I told him that I have never met a politician who didn't want another friend!

26. Watching a 1L take on the Dean of the UCLA law school. Take that you cherry picker you!

27. Erica's stellar performance at the Witten wine and cheese. Not only do you tell em they're stuffy, you do it with a smile, a bleeding foot and an open blouse!

28. GILBERT STEELERS - "Ingenious but flawed" we sure worked our way to 13th place. that last place team sure felt the pain!

29. The best line in law show - "yeah I know they're evil, but they've got Juice. I mean, Juice!"

30. The family law fight to end all fights. Yet both arguing the same point!

If you have any more memories that you are dying to share - please do! I am certain that I cannot remember nearly 1/10th of what actually went on in the past 3 years!

The art of being

On particular occasions in one's life the illusive clarity is attained. Mine just happens to be when I am writing papers and should not be achieving such a state of awareness of anything outside of the law. Oh well.

I have found these past few months very strange. The oddest part about 3rd year of law school is that you get to the point where you are not doing much more than simply waiting for it to be over. No longer is there the fear of exams, or the strain of learning the oddest equitable rule known to mankind (though I still get a mild twinge thinking of constructive trusts, I prefer to chalk it up to indigestion.)

At this point in the year it is really easy to get to a place where you are not living for today, but *ahem* counting down until your life really begins. This is not good - a balance must be struck. I have been having difficulty with this balance, a difficulty that has spilt over into many different areas of my life.

Moment of clarity - the fact that pivotal moments of my life fast approaching cannot prevent me from being (and subsequently, doing) in the present. Living for today cannot be stretched into living for the near future, even for the most eloquent advocate.

This form of third year purgatory has resulted in odd symptoms in my life. I have been unable to really do anything effectively, and I keep my options for decisions open as long as possible so that I don't return again to a state of patiently waiting for the future to happen.

Today I accomplished more before noon than I have in the past 2 weeks. The way of being powerful is still there, hidden amidst un-cracked evidence textbooks and simpsons reruns. Third year apathy hasn't eaten me alive yet.

And I have 13 pages of my paper done!

Movin on up

It's been quite the week. I got my ring, and have sufficiently bonded to the *bling* to the point that I feel awkward without it. I guess I will be wearing it for a long time, so getting used to it would be a good idea.

The week has been great! I have been inundated with congratulations and blasphemous exclamations courtesy of Erica (talking of the ring)!

The combination of engagement and 3rd year of law school has fostered a situation where I have the time and ability to actually have real conversations with many people who I have neglected as of late. And I don't have that nagging sense that every minute without a text book is a minute wasted.

I think one of the most difficult parts of law school is that it segregates you from the rest of society for a while. Inevitably, you find yourself cut off from family, friends and traditional social networks because school just takes up that much time. Law school buddies are welcome (but temporary) fill-ins, and there comes a point in 3rd year that you realize that life continued on as it always had in the world, and it is time to get ready to merge back into the fray.

I will miss law school dreadfully. Getting to that very nostalgic point. My life is set to dramatically change... no. lets make that present tense - My life is changing fast, currently, right now. Law school will be one of those experiences that I will not be able to adequately describe to many, if any, people who haven't already experienced it themselves. Despite this, these past 3 years will make their way to the hall of fame of my life, taking the prize for the best, worst, and most challenging.

Enough nostalgia. Apparently I am still in law school, and I have two papers, and four exams. Finally, taking in the general workload of a semester doesn't strike fear, or make me hyperventilate.

53 days left.

A Happy Engagement

There are some days in one's life that turn into significant milestones full of love, happiness, joy and an irrevocable sense of peace.

February 20th, 2009 was one of those.

After an *interesting* dinner at Lingnan's - for those of you who adore Amy of Chicken for lunch fame, this is the Quon's actual restaurant, located just behind G-Mac - T.J. and I did what we often do, went for ice cream. It was a blizzard of a lifetime! We grabbed our ice-cream, and headed to the park where he and I would spend hours, so many summers ago, talking of life and anything that came to mind.

Sitting there, enjoying our smarties' blizzards, I looked over see him holding a box containing a very sparkly ring.

"Would a girl like you consider marrying a guy like me?" (He says I have to explain that this is an inside joke, and incredibly cute.) And, because I have spent the last 3 years being trained to not give a straight answer, I replied, "I would consider it." Yes, I am only human!

After extracting a "Yes!" (OF COURSE), he went from common boyfriend, to fiance in shining armour. Mrs... - Tell you the truth, I had never thought of that... hyphenating - was immediately vetoed.

In celebration, we travelled to the jeweler's to resize the ring. I did a good job of forcing it on my finger, despite my knuckle almost bleeding. The ring was in my possession for just over an hour. Already I am having the separation anxiety reminscent of a 7 month old who has just lost sight of their mother.

So off to WEM. In lieu of deulling pianos we opted to have our moment immortalized in cartoon form (to be posted shortly).

We searched for a candy ring, because I am crazy, though our search came up fruitless. Though I guess it would have been fruitless if we had actually found a ring...

A grape victory cigar ended our delightfully quirky evening. 3 years, 5 months and 1 week after our first date where we took the bus to Finnegan's to play NTN, we are officially getting married.

I feel an overwhelming sense of calm, a quiet happiness that is so often missing from my life. I know of other women who go into overdrive upon the question, but I am in overdrive most days, so calm is welcome.

I am happier than anything. I cannot stop smiling, and have a renewed desire to hit the gym even harder (I now have a vested interest!) Life doesn't begin today, nor our wedding day. It progresses as it always has and always will. I just know that it will progress with him and I, hand in hand, facing the world together!

And the best part - I can watch TLC and Slice's bridal shows, such as Wedding SOS, A Wedding Story, Incredible Weddings, Wild Weddings, Say Yes to the Dress, I do... Let's Eat, Rich Bride Poor Bride, Weird Weddings, and Bulging Brides... K, come to think of it, we'll stay away from Bulging brides!

Random things

OK, I am not one to do these whole tagging note things - but since I am very hung over and procrastinating to the best of my abilities, here goes:

25 random things about me (and i won't tag others because of personal convictions):

1. It seems as though I have developed a nasty traveling habit - my 2 month trip to Europe is going to be whack!

2. I make picture boxes of the places I have been, putting stuff in the box from that place. So far I have one of the Las Vegas strip, the capitol in Havana, the Cuban beach and Chichin Itza (Mayan ruins)

3. Every day I sing. Despite no training, I consider myself quite good. May try out for Canadian Idol, though I am pretty sure that being a lawyer pays better.

4. I look forward to having an acreage with horses. My kids are not going to be raised in the city.

5. I have struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. I think it began when I was six.

6. I am an elitist. I worked hard to be where I am, no one has the right to arbitrarily "re-level" the playing field.

7. I always use two spaces after a period to start a new sentence. Not sure why this was beaten into my young, impressionable mind.

8. I am currently living in a townhouse in Clareview - this is the longest I have lived anywhere.

9. Generally, I dislike birthdays.

10. I won't donate blood. Though I am not religious, I don't embrace the thought of receiving blood either.

11. My kidneys are for sale though. I have student loans to pay.

11a. The light blue trident makes me think of my Mom every time.

12. Living with T.J. has been a step in the right direction.

13. My favourite food is chilcha - German noodles in a yummy grease/cream/sugar sauce. I don't eat it often.

14. I will never get married on a beach. It is not as exclusive as the pictures show.

15. My cat has emotions, and a personality. I am her chosen guardian. She chose me.

16. I like directionless roadtrips, yet never take any.

17. I prefer the mountains in Banff. The mountains in Jasper are terrible.

18. Whenever I go tanning, I have visions of the plexiglass breaking, and me falling into the bulbs. I am cut to shreds and electrocuted. I keep teh door unlocked for this very reason.

19. Sometimes, I hear dead people.

20. Royal Pizza is the best pizza in town.

21. I look forward to Super-happy-fun camping trip more than anything each year. It has Christmas beat.

22. I am deathly scared of snakes and drowning.

23. I tend to be too hard on my little sister.

24. I collect different types of alcohol. My perfect house has a well stocked bar. I really don't drink.

25. I cry at the drop of a hat. Especially at commercials.

The Great Return and Countdown

Yes, I'm back, back in the Law School Groove. K, that was kind of dorky.

But yes, I am back. Edmonton weather is bearable, so I will not lament my return to the cold north nearly as much as I believe that I should!

Apparently I am in law school - a concept that seems to have evaded my grasp for the last few weeks, what with law show, cancun and well... life in general.

I have begun a countdown on facebook. God, I love facebook! 82 days until my final *ahem* final is over, and "real life" begins. Or I drink myself into oblivion... something like that.

THe irony is that though I dress my countdown with excitement and impatience, I really got to like this whole law school thing. I have made great friends which are not staying in Edmonton, which will really suck to lose, and well, there are lots of people that I just don't feel as though I have had the time to really get to know as well as I should have.

I guess that is what the next 82 days are for! Carbolic Smoke Ball is coming up in 2 weeks, now that is going to be a blast - first time I will have actually gone to the event itself, rather than crashing it after most people are already blitzed out of their mind.

I got jury duty. So excited to be a juror, so sad that I will likely be excluded - and they say an education will get you anywhere...

Smile! I know I sure am!

PS - I am selling my Nissan - if you know anyone who is interested - please let me know!

Mexico!

Hey, this post is going to be one of a few without any photos.

Why you ask? because this blog is live (kind of) in Mexico!

I am burnt, hung over, and about to shop wayyy too much!!!! Nothing says gluttony like a good all-inclusive holiday.

I hear canada is cold - suckers. I mean, i pity you. It is not that warm here either. Only about 24 or so.

I tried to feed the fish - fed the hoardes of seaguls instead.

Going snorkelling, to Chichen Itsa and Jordan is going swimming with teh dolphins.

Hard to believe we have already been here two days!

Jodi

Law Show 2009

Here is my cast. They did a fantastic job this weekend in making Law Show 2009 such a giant success!

I knew the mixed emotions at the show would come. I just didn't know when. The first airing of the videos on Wednesday brought a tear to my eyes, and not just cause they were funnier than anything.

Friday, our first show, I sat up in the balcony watching. I was useless back stage, my job was done, all I could do is watch. The whole day leading up to the show had been a debacle of epic proportions and my stomach was queazy. I had been drenched by a handi-bus, Kerry had said Macbeth in the theatre, an actor had a broken leg and a black cat had crossed my path. The whole day was intense. The successful debut of the show led to drinking - a lot of drinking.

Saturday, we were a well-oiled machine. What is more, I no longer had a carrot or stick to influence behavior - so they were on their own. They sure did me proud.

Today, after sleeping in for the first time in weeks, I felt this weird sensation. I guess that all third years get this feeling at some point in time or another. This was my final law show. It is over. There is even less between me and my graduation.

I vividly remember going for a walk (a common occurrence in those days) with my father in the summer of 2002. I was broke, I had just gotten a job at burger king - the best I could find, I didn't really have a home and university wasn't what I expected. I remember looking at the vast expanse between myself and graduating law school (yep, I knew I wanted a LLB early). 7 years left, 1 down.

And now as I stare at the last 95 days, I realize how fast it really was. In particular, the three years of law school itself blew by faster than... well, I don't know just how to finish that comparison.

The nostalgia has kicked in. So has the sense of adventure. Welcome 2009 - you stand to be a very good year. I hope I can savour you, enjoy and patiently experience all that you have to offer.

A welcome to 2009

(TJ and I at Bryan's wedding, December 20th, 2008)

One of my resolutions was to post more on this blog. I know I will be successful in general throughout the year as I know already this will be my primary means of communication while I am overseas. Yep, I like the word overseas. Let's not talk about me being abroad.

The first week of school has passed like a whirlwind. I have begun a countdown on facebook that is tracking the slow but sure progression of time towards my graduation. The last time I was not in school was 1987 thereabouts. It becomes blaringly apparent how much life is going to change.

I have 104 hours, 14 minutes until my last exam is finished. And that doesn't factor in that I may finish early. I think the hardest thing I ever do is survive that last exam, knowing the finish line is so close.

Currently, law show is taking ahold of all my spare time. I have been pulling 12 to 16 hour days to get this show up and running, and I am not even on stage at all. If there is anything that I will press on next year's director is that there is a whole lot of work to do. It is almost a friendlier, happier version of law school exams.

Thank God I am going to Mexico on the 21st. Yep, that's right - Mexico suckers.

T.J. has moved in with me now. We live together. I like it so far. The strength and encouragement that I get from knowing that he will be at home waiting for me after a really stressful, late night doing law school is immeasurable. I couldn't ask for a better *ahem* life partner.

Well, off to the gym. Some things never change (and never should!)