You know, there's just something about dancing... I remember my first dance, at DA Ferguson in Taber, being all nervous, with the girls on one side of the room, and the boys on the other, only coming together at the last minute.
I remember grade 10 math class when Mills would yell out, "it's time for dancing!" and we would all squirm in our seats, just for something to do.
The other night, I had just finished a great run! I did 5 km in 41 minutes, and was heading home. Wait, I have to back up a second...
I have a confession to make.
Every time I play my Ipod I have this almost uncontrollable urge to start dancing. This happens whether I am in the office, on the treadmill, and especially when I am on the train!
Back to my story - I took the train to Clareview, T.J. picked me up and my ipod was playing a song too great to be ignored (Toto's "Africa") so I just kept on listening. Then I had to do dishes, and before I knew it, I was dancing my heart out in my kitchen to music that no one else could hear.
Now that's happiness.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
March 5th
When I was younger, every March 5th I would sit down and take a yearly stock of my life. In university, I was either too drunk, hungover, or furiously writing term papers to take the yearly stock too serious.
Why March 5th? I dunno. It's as good a day as any.
I'm looking for some profound insight that I can take with me for the next 365 days, and all I can think of is how good the weight watcher's banana bread I just baked tastes.
I understand now what most people mean when time flies by. I am headed into the final stretch of my articling year (OK, just passed the half way mark, but I choose to pretend it's actually longer). Time has flown by, and I have hardly noticed. This week, my body recognized spring, and the lengthening of the days subconsciously before I had even figured out that it was March already.
Every year I used to take stock of goals that I was working towards. As I sit here now, it is truly sick for a 13 year old to be taking such stock of life. Oh well, at least I can tell T.J. that it was learned from a young age! One of the most fundamental shifts that I have found going from school to the working world is that you can easily lose your goals, and get caught up in the "daily grind." Up until this year I was sure that the daily grind meant 3 to 4 hours of classes, and a 100% final every once and awhile. I was spoiled. The workaholic in me can easily see how the skyscraper, the sea of files and terrible office decor can suck one into believing that is all there is to life.
So today I take stock of my goals, to remind myself that, though work will be an integral part of my life (that's why I spent 8 ungodly years learning a profession, and will spend a lifetime perfecting it), I have to keep extra-curricular Jodi alive as well.
I am looking forward to running my half marathon in December. OK, who am I kidding, I am very scared that I will not be ready in time. Someone once told me that fear of failure is a terrible motivator (though it seems to have gotten me through articling OK.) In keeping with the spirit of a very good point, I choose to be not scared, but excited instead, as I have never been that good at running, and by the end of this year I will be damn good. And I will get to drink my face off in Vegas. This looks to be a good year.
I am getting married, if anyone didn't know. To a wonderful man. We have our differences, I guess if we didn't, I'd be marrying myself, and that wedding day would be remarkably awkward. I don't know if this classifies as a goal, though I think it was a goal for most of the girls that I went to high school with. Meh, I got a man for life, check that one off the bucket list.
I am finishing my EPIC European scrapbook. It is 63 pages long, and I am on day 14 of 50. I find this remarkably soothing after a hectic day at life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't marvel at how long ago that was. I think the trip changed me significantly, and my thirst for traveling is stronger than ever before. My only sad thing is that I didn't enjoy the trip to the best of my abilities. I spent a lot of my time shy, or nervous, or lonely because I lacked the courage to be me. I also regret not drinking more.
All in all, life is going well. I'm adjusting to life in the working world. The paychecks were the first thing I adjusted to! Now to the rest that goes with it. I have to smile that I am actually working a full time job, with a real career, when it seemed like a speck of light in an endless tunnel of 8 AM Evidence with Royal only one year ago!
I must confess I am not as happy as I usually am. This year has had it's emotional highs and lows, that's for sure. I still hear songs and cry over lives lost, and moments that exist only in my memory now. I have severe attacks of homesickness, the likes of which I have never felt before. It must be something about actually working, and building a life in Edmonton, beyond merely attending the U of A. Sure took awhile to get homesick!
But... I will survive. The days are getting longer, and I can already smell the barbecues being lit up around the neighbourhood. Soon will come the dog days of summer, the camping and the Taste of Edmonton. It can only get better from here!
Why March 5th? I dunno. It's as good a day as any.
I'm looking for some profound insight that I can take with me for the next 365 days, and all I can think of is how good the weight watcher's banana bread I just baked tastes.
I understand now what most people mean when time flies by. I am headed into the final stretch of my articling year (OK, just passed the half way mark, but I choose to pretend it's actually longer). Time has flown by, and I have hardly noticed. This week, my body recognized spring, and the lengthening of the days subconsciously before I had even figured out that it was March already.
Every year I used to take stock of goals that I was working towards. As I sit here now, it is truly sick for a 13 year old to be taking such stock of life. Oh well, at least I can tell T.J. that it was learned from a young age! One of the most fundamental shifts that I have found going from school to the working world is that you can easily lose your goals, and get caught up in the "daily grind." Up until this year I was sure that the daily grind meant 3 to 4 hours of classes, and a 100% final every once and awhile. I was spoiled. The workaholic in me can easily see how the skyscraper, the sea of files and terrible office decor can suck one into believing that is all there is to life.
So today I take stock of my goals, to remind myself that, though work will be an integral part of my life (that's why I spent 8 ungodly years learning a profession, and will spend a lifetime perfecting it), I have to keep extra-curricular Jodi alive as well.
I am looking forward to running my half marathon in December. OK, who am I kidding, I am very scared that I will not be ready in time. Someone once told me that fear of failure is a terrible motivator (though it seems to have gotten me through articling OK.) In keeping with the spirit of a very good point, I choose to be not scared, but excited instead, as I have never been that good at running, and by the end of this year I will be damn good. And I will get to drink my face off in Vegas. This looks to be a good year.
I am getting married, if anyone didn't know. To a wonderful man. We have our differences, I guess if we didn't, I'd be marrying myself, and that wedding day would be remarkably awkward. I don't know if this classifies as a goal, though I think it was a goal for most of the girls that I went to high school with. Meh, I got a man for life, check that one off the bucket list.
I am finishing my EPIC European scrapbook. It is 63 pages long, and I am on day 14 of 50. I find this remarkably soothing after a hectic day at life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't marvel at how long ago that was. I think the trip changed me significantly, and my thirst for traveling is stronger than ever before. My only sad thing is that I didn't enjoy the trip to the best of my abilities. I spent a lot of my time shy, or nervous, or lonely because I lacked the courage to be me. I also regret not drinking more.
All in all, life is going well. I'm adjusting to life in the working world. The paychecks were the first thing I adjusted to! Now to the rest that goes with it. I have to smile that I am actually working a full time job, with a real career, when it seemed like a speck of light in an endless tunnel of 8 AM Evidence with Royal only one year ago!
I must confess I am not as happy as I usually am. This year has had it's emotional highs and lows, that's for sure. I still hear songs and cry over lives lost, and moments that exist only in my memory now. I have severe attacks of homesickness, the likes of which I have never felt before. It must be something about actually working, and building a life in Edmonton, beyond merely attending the U of A. Sure took awhile to get homesick!
But... I will survive. The days are getting longer, and I can already smell the barbecues being lit up around the neighbourhood. Soon will come the dog days of summer, the camping and the Taste of Edmonton. It can only get better from here!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Time goes by
I'm very tired.
I will skip the apologies to my oh so many readers for my lacklustre blogging as of late.
Down to the grit.
Articling is quite the test. I laugh, I cry, I swear that surviving to September will be a feat in and of itself, then excitedly ramble on about doing this for the rest of my life. I work lots, I seem to have files where I have accomplished very little.
Dad's right, the job is not causing me stress, I am causing me stress. Life has changed quite a bit, and I'm just keeping up.
Wedding planning is going well. There are things that I have begun researching far too early, and somethings far too late. Still on a photography hunt. They are a dime a dozen, but very expensive!
There will be great surprises at our wedding! Going to be one hell of a party!
I will skip the apologies to my oh so many readers for my lacklustre blogging as of late.
Down to the grit.
Articling is quite the test. I laugh, I cry, I swear that surviving to September will be a feat in and of itself, then excitedly ramble on about doing this for the rest of my life. I work lots, I seem to have files where I have accomplished very little.
Dad's right, the job is not causing me stress, I am causing me stress. Life has changed quite a bit, and I'm just keeping up.
Wedding planning is going well. There are things that I have begun researching far too early, and somethings far too late. Still on a photography hunt. They are a dime a dozen, but very expensive!
There will be great surprises at our wedding! Going to be one hell of a party!
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Walk
There are times in life when you are forced to face your mortality. More often than not, they are funerals. Funerals often remind me of a pilgrimage of sorts, where the family who have scattered to the corners of the earth make their way back to where it all began to pay homage to what was and never will be again.
I find that I am most selfish and most empathetic at funerals. I cry more so for those who are left than those who are gone. I feel their pain.
My selfishness is the time I spend contemplating my own existence. The sheer pain of knowing that I can never go back is truly terrifying. The childhood that I remember, filled with horses, fighting, the farm, snow drift fortresses and afternoons developing some serious Nintendo-thumb are gone. They only exist in my memory. Perhaps this is why elderly people are often ready to die - the world they know is more in their memory than in reality. Perhaps that is the most fundamental shift that defines adulthood. Perhaps being in your "prime" is where the amount of your life that exists in memory and the amount of your life that exists in reality balance out. You have experienced enough to be well-practiced, but are not stuck in the haze of memory.
I am sad. It will pass, but truly, things will never ever be the same.
As for articling, I'm getting better at this whole lawyer thing each and every day.
Monday, January 04, 2010
Life, Oh Life!
I do not wish my blog to become eulogy central, however it seems as though recent events conspire against me. Today my aunt Carol passed away in Calgary.
Once I collect my thoughts, I will attempt to do her justice. It's going to take a bit.
But for now, know that I am doing well. Work is draining me, but I will survive and be the better person for it. My colleagues make those 12 hour days so much better than they would be otherwise. My family (apart from the above), is doing well. I love T.J. more than I ever have, though the wedding planning is going at a snail's pace.
I am dieting and will be running a marathon in December of this year in Las Vegas. Running was the one sport that I was never naturally good at, making it a greater challenge than most other sports.
Friends are amazing. They are supportive, patient and all that I need in the people around me. I am truly blessed. They also get me drunk. I am doubly blessed.
I am constantly having snippets of profound thoughts, intense ideas and touching emotions. Most don't last long enough for me to do more than merely enjoy the fact that I have learnt a thing or two in the past six months.
Once I collect my thoughts, I will attempt to do her justice. It's going to take a bit.
But for now, know that I am doing well. Work is draining me, but I will survive and be the better person for it. My colleagues make those 12 hour days so much better than they would be otherwise. My family (apart from the above), is doing well. I love T.J. more than I ever have, though the wedding planning is going at a snail's pace.
I am dieting and will be running a marathon in December of this year in Las Vegas. Running was the one sport that I was never naturally good at, making it a greater challenge than most other sports.
Friends are amazing. They are supportive, patient and all that I need in the people around me. I am truly blessed. They also get me drunk. I am doubly blessed.
I am constantly having snippets of profound thoughts, intense ideas and touching emotions. Most don't last long enough for me to do more than merely enjoy the fact that I have learnt a thing or two in the past six months.
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