A monthly review

So March has flown by. Seriously fast. I have blinked, and it is spring. It is light out when I leave work now. That makes me happy (though the increased daylight means I can work longer without noticing).

I love the fresh smell of spring. That clean smell after the first rain begins to wash away the crap that has been collecting on the city streets for the past 6 months. I don't like the spring winds that pick up all the dust and dirt lingering on the roads, and look forward to the first major deluge that will wash away the dirty remnants of winter.

We went to Jasper on our firm's ski trip last weekend. Talk about fun. No, I did not ski. Instead, T.J. and I walked into the Jasper townsite and spent some long-overdue time with the Jayminator (who, incidentally, is going to be an auntie to a little girl soon!)



I have started my training for the 1/2 marathon in December. I find myself thinking I won't make it, and how awful that would be. This disturbs me, as thinking this way is totally the wrong mindset, and may very well be the reason I have spent the past year struggling with my weight despite "dieting" constantly. The fear of failure prevents the mind and body from doing what simply needs to be done to meet a goal. Food for thought I guess.

So yeah, the first class I looked like a piece of work - showed up 5 minutes late decked out in my suit and high heels only to open my bag and discover that I had left my brand new running shoes at home. Needless to say, I didn't run at the first clinic. I have, however, been running on my own outside, which is a big step for me. I have ran 7 km this week, and anticipate that this will almost double next week. I can't believe it, I am a runner!

Let the 1/2 marathon training begin! Those of you looking for a challenge, feel free to join me.

Its time for dancin!

You know, there's just something about dancing... I remember my first dance, at DA Ferguson in Taber, being all nervous, with the girls on one side of the room, and the boys on the other, only coming together at the last minute.

I remember grade 10 math class when Mills would yell out, "it's time for dancing!" and we would all squirm in our seats, just for something to do.

The other night, I had just finished a great run! I did 5 km in 41 minutes, and was heading home. Wait, I have to back up a second...

I have a confession to make.

Every time I play my Ipod I have this almost uncontrollable urge to start dancing. This happens whether I am in the office, on the treadmill, and especially when I am on the train!

Back to my story - I took the train to Clareview, T.J. picked me up and my ipod was playing a song too great to be ignored (Toto's "Africa") so I just kept on listening. Then I had to do dishes, and before I knew it, I was dancing my heart out in my kitchen to music that no one else could hear.

Now that's happiness.

March 5th

When I was younger, every March 5th I would sit down and take a yearly stock of my life. In university, I was either too drunk, hungover, or furiously writing term papers to take the yearly stock too serious.

Why March 5th? I dunno. It's as good a day as any.

I'm looking for some profound insight that I can take with me for the next 365 days, and all I can think of is how good the weight watcher's banana bread I just baked tastes.

I understand now what most people mean when time flies by. I am headed into the final stretch of my articling year (OK, just passed the half way mark, but I choose to pretend it's actually longer). Time has flown by, and I have hardly noticed. This week, my body recognized spring, and the lengthening of the days subconsciously before I had even figured out that it was March already.

Every year I used to take stock of goals that I was working towards. As I sit here now, it is truly sick for a 13 year old to be taking such stock of life. Oh well, at least I can tell T.J. that it was learned from a young age! One of the most fundamental shifts that I have found going from school to the working world is that you can easily lose your goals, and get caught up in the "daily grind." Up until this year I was sure that the daily grind meant 3 to 4 hours of classes, and a 100% final every once and awhile. I was spoiled. The workaholic in me can easily see how the skyscraper, the sea of files and terrible office decor can suck one into believing that is all there is to life.

So today I take stock of my goals, to remind myself that, though work will be an integral part of my life (that's why I spent 8 ungodly years learning a profession, and will spend a lifetime perfecting it), I have to keep extra-curricular Jodi alive as well.

I am looking forward to running my half marathon in December. OK, who am I kidding, I am very scared that I will not be ready in time. Someone once told me that fear of failure is a terrible motivator (though it seems to have gotten me through articling OK.) In keeping with the spirit of a very good point, I choose to be not scared, but excited instead, as I have never been that good at running, and by the end of this year I will be damn good. And I will get to drink my face off in Vegas. This looks to be a good year.

I am getting married, if anyone didn't know. To a wonderful man. We have our differences, I guess if we didn't, I'd be marrying myself, and that wedding day would be remarkably awkward. I don't know if this classifies as a goal, though I think it was a goal for most of the girls that I went to high school with. Meh, I got a man for life, check that one off the bucket list.

I am finishing my EPIC European scrapbook. It is 63 pages long, and I am on day 14 of 50. I find this remarkably soothing after a hectic day at life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't marvel at how long ago that was. I think the trip changed me significantly, and my thirst for traveling is stronger than ever before. My only sad thing is that I didn't enjoy the trip to the best of my abilities. I spent a lot of my time shy, or nervous, or lonely because I lacked the courage to be me. I also regret not drinking more.

All in all, life is going well. I'm adjusting to life in the working world. The paychecks were the first thing I adjusted to! Now to the rest that goes with it. I have to smile that I am actually working a full time job, with a real career, when it seemed like a speck of light in an endless tunnel of 8 AM Evidence with Royal only one year ago!

I must confess I am not as happy as I usually am. This year has had it's emotional highs and lows, that's for sure. I still hear songs and cry over lives lost, and moments that exist only in my memory now. I have severe attacks of homesickness, the likes of which I have never felt before. It must be something about actually working, and building a life in Edmonton, beyond merely attending the U of A. Sure took awhile to get homesick!

But... I will survive. The days are getting longer, and I can already smell the barbecues being lit up around the neighbourhood. Soon will come the dog days of summer, the camping and the Taste of Edmonton. It can only get better from here!